Don't forget your roots. Don't stop tilling. Drive safely.
Limited Connectivity
I cannot find a signal.
This device is heavy and useless,
Emitting nothing but lights and sounds.
I have very limited connectivity;
I can never seem to enter the network successfully.
There’s no signal.
I felt very alone for most of my time in college. My high school girlfriend broke up with me about a month after I started commuting from Temecula to Irvine every day, and then I had my driving privileges taken away a few months later. It was too late to move into the dorms and make friends like a normal freshman scrub so I did what I could as fast as I could and moved into an apartment in Parkwest with some 5th-year weirdos who played Warcraft all day and never had people over. It was very isolating and strange, and on a whole I found it difficult to find any sense of belonging or anybody I really identified with at UC Irvine. I remember being in a lab session early on and when I threw out a Ramones reference thinking everyone would get it, even after I explained it I learned half the group wasn’t familiar with who the Ramones were. The fucking Ramones. How was I supposed to work with that?
For that first year especially, I had to come back home to Temecula most every weekend to deal with court stuffs so I remained involved with the hardcore and punk scene I had grown up with. Between house shows, barn shows, warehouse shows, and even coffee-shop throwdowns, I became accustomed to a ‘by-the-kids, for-the-kids’ way of going about things. It was either that or grovel for pay-to-play places out of town, which makes absolutely no sense, and it generate at least the semblance of some kind of community. Unfortunately, as it the case with hardcore scenes throughout its history, violence at shows and a general unwillingness to accept bands who played different styles – even different styles of hardcore – became a limiting factor to that communal feeling. I began to feel like, as much as I had grown up with this music and this scene, there was something I just wasn’t getting anymore from this sector. This was at the apex of the "deathcore" fad’s popularity and creativity within the scene felt to be imploding. There was no room to experiment or to grow; maybe that’s why not even 2 years after the hurrah half the people in bands had become more involved in hip hop than hardcore.
Second year at UC Irvine was a bit different. My roommates were laid back and actually interested in this whiteboy rocknroll stuff I was so into. I started bringing my acoustic guitar to Irvine and writing songs again. My friend Nikki exposed me to the wonders of 80’s heavy metal. But most importantly, I got connected with KUCI. That was the gateway. During second semester I did the internship class in hopes of landing myself a show of my own and was immediately impressed by the overall ethos of the station. No commercials and no commercial music. Styles of all sorts being represented by people who really care about the music. It was beautiful and it was something I had no idea was there on campus. On my first tour of the studio itself, someone was playing an album of acoustic Crass cover songs. It was exactly what I was looking for.
That same semester was the Dan Deacon show. I distinctly remember seeing the rainbow-colored poster along the walls of Ring Road, not recognizing any of the groups listed, but noticing the "presented by KUCI" slogan at the bottom. I gave it a shot. It was being held in the biggest two rooms of the Student Center, the place where I worked throughout college, and from my experiences there setting up drab business conferences and pointless student group meetings it felt like a refreshing use of space. That’s a subject I’ll return to later, but watching Abe Vigoda play where the American Cancer Association had held their annual banquet just a few days before was certainly a welcome change.
The main feeling I got from that show, which turned out to be Acrobatics Everyday’s first, was one of being flabbergasted. Watching Lucky Dragons run around the room, spazzing out with bizarre electronic contraptions; Narwahlz (of Sound) with more digital noise-manipulation the likes of which I had never really been exposed to; the inexplicable Schwarzeneggar-apocalypse video montage that accompanied Ultimate Reality’s dual-drummer drone – I straight up did not know what to make of this. I had always thought that hardcore and death metal and even like shoegaze indie was so "alternative" (whatever that’s really supposed to mean); but this was all so far removed from the structure and set-up of traditional "band" music that it kind of turned my perceptions on their head.
Although I went to a Destroy Tokyo/Zipzoom/Sprawl Out show in the interim, the next event that really sealed my interest and affinity with Acrobatics Everyday was at the beginning of third year, when Ian MacKaye came hold a QnA with all of us. Unlike the Dan Deacon show, which I came into spontaneously, this was something that I totally related to and frankly could not believe was happening. For some reason I didn’t think the sterile UCI population would bring out a crowd even considering MacKaye’s iconic place in underground history; I was wrong. The Humanities Building was teeming with kids and the lecture hall eventually got so filled up that people were strewn along the stairs, covering the stage, or finding standing space in the back like myself. Some of the questions people asked were kinda ridiculous, like the guy who asked "how much it would take" for Minor Threat to reunite at his festival. But for the most part it was beyond my hopes, getting to hear this person I had grown up kind-of idolizing speak on a multitude of subjects, it was like middle-school me’s dream come true. I was wearing my homemade Faith shirt (whatever happened to that??) and before he took my question, Ian MacKaye told me, "nice shirt." Some things you just never forget.
I next saw the Acrobatics people on election night 2008. We watched John McCain and Barack Obama give their respective speeches from the dining room of the Phoenix Grill and then we watched White Fang and Gowns play on the other side of the restaurant. It was this kind of alternative use of campus space that really made me love what Acrobatics was all about; it always seemed that all these rooms around campus were going to waste! Having shows is exactly what I would have done too; I just don’t know how to do it. Suddenly places around campus had ongoing meaning to me where there used to be nothing: Big Whup played in the arts department and made all those stone slabs make sense; I headbanged to Robedoor in the Engineering Hall; the dude from Negativland signed my dollar bill outside one of those newer Technology halls that I never had class in; a single police officer on a bike ended the A.M. show on the roof of the Social Science Parking Structure. The Cross Cultural Center all the sudden became a kind of home. Emperor X and Rare Grooves played in a goddamn 24-hour post office. Shit was real.
In the last couple years of college I started going to as many AE shows as I could possibly attend. More than half of the time I had never heard of any of the performers, and truth be told there more than a handful that I thought were pure rubbish. But I also learned about performers like The Shaky Hands, Tera Melos, Times New Viking, Baby Birds Don’t Drink Milk, Kevin Greenspon, The Box Elders, Weed Diamond, Professor Calculus, Little Teeth, and so many more that I still listen to today. I had my mind completely blown by High Places and Mount Eerie and Yoshitake Expe. I met Brent from Trudgers when they opened up for Dom and now we’re straight up homies.
Speaking of homies, although I never got too deep into the circle, the people who put on shows with AE are some of my favorite people from my time in college. Welcoming without being overbearing, you guys made me feel at home and let me be myself. It was probably clear from my Job For A Cowboy shirt that I wasn’t really of the ‘hipster’ scene (sorry, had to generalize you somehow) but I never felt judged or out of the circle or un-hip. I never got weird vibes from you if I decided I wanted to lose my shit during Ponytail or do a quick shimmy during Mahjongg.
I was exposed to so many new forms of art through those shows that, looking back, I feel like it was one of the primary things that helped me grow as a person during those years. Obviously, the life lessons of living with strangers for the first time, the new perspectives I gained from international friends over the years, the things I learned in the classes I am still paying for - these are crucial additions to my personality and character as well. But the expansion of my musical palette that was due in large part to my internship at KUCI and all the shows that Acrobatics Everyday put on is indispensible to me. You guys made UC Irvine feel a bit less like a cold, rigid place without a semblance of what makes me tick, without the ‘counterculture’ fashion and passion and the stupid rock n roll bullshit that makes me real. I felt at home with you guys.
After I graduated in the summer of 2010 and moved back home, it became a bit more difficult to come to shows. I guess I had taken it for granted that this amazing collective was operating within walking distance from where I was living; when I didn’t live there anymore I immediately missed it. I trekked up to Irvine a few times to catch some shows but I just couldn’t come see every obscure noise act that rolled through anymore. The final few things I went to were larger events that I don’t know how Sam threw together but were notable enough that I made a point to make it out there.
Jandek played his very first show in Southern California after a 20+ recording and touring career at the Crystal Cove Auditorium, and although I wasn’t familiar with his bizarre work beforehand I knew this was not one to be missed. Performing with another one of my childhood punk-rock heroes, Mike Watt, didn’t hurt either. That was a bizarre experience, nearly an hour and a half of uninterrupted madness, like a creeping fever nightmare made into sound. At times it was unclear if he knew how to play guitar whatsoever, like he was just making it up as he went although they did FEEL like orchestrations. It was strange; it was a cacophony that was something entirely unique, like no other performance I have ever seen. My Student Center friends were working sound and lights in the A/V booth above the auditorium an after the show they confronted me: "What the hell WAS that, man???" I didn’t really know how to answer them. Before I left to drive home I managed to get a picture with Mike Watt, a picture of Jandek smiling, and overhear somebody ruin part of the movie "The Black Swan" before I had seen it.
A few weeks later was the QnA with Andrew WK, making the last 2 real Acrobatics events I went to somewhat paralleled to the first 2: a bizarre showcase of music I have yet to wrap my head around followed by a QnA session by a well-known figure in the rock world who I was a big fan of in middle school. This event had none of the stoic, awe-inspiring self-importance of the Ian MacKaye session however; many of the questions revolved around dinosaur preferences and general party advice. He sang a song about Acrobatics Everyday with a shoe on his head and gave out prizes for random shit. It was just that kind of night.
Looking back, there are several legitimate questions that I could have asked. "How did you meet up with the drummer from Obituary?" "Is ‘Don’t Stop Living In the Red’ a celebration of debt?" …those are inquiries that might spark conversation, or at least make sense in the context of the night. But no, I went a different route.
"Do you think the Empire would have survived if R2 hadn’t stopped the trash compactor??"
Yes, I asked Andrew WK about "Star Wars" and to be completely honest I still don’t feel like I got a straight answer out of that bastard. As soon as I said it, I could hear the collective groan in the room. Nobody wanted to answer me. Is there some shit I don’t know?? All I can say is that as much as he wails on the keyboard, Andrew WK sure knows how to evade a question.
The very last time I came to Irvine for an AE event was last summer, for the second annual No Junk picnic/swap meet/acoustic show there in the park. I was actually scheduled to play an acoustic set, my first time participating in a show with y’all, so I kinda rushed my friends who came along with me. When we got to the park we realized the nature of the event and started kicking ourselved for not bringing stuff to trade. My garage is FULL of junk. Ryan bought a little drum pad from Mr. Farzin as an impulse buy like IMMEDIATELY as we got there but other than that we just looked at everybody’s goods wishing that we had barter-ables ourselves. I played a short set of end of the summer songs and handed out a bunch of CD-R demos of my then-just-starting band The Gravitys. Dash Jacket kept dropping their guitar picks; I chatted with the dude from Avi Buffalo and he gave me one of his new demos. We all had a nice little time hanging out together in the park, barbecueing and playing Frisbee and just big lok’ing in the summer sun. That’s what life is all about right there.
In the last year and a half since I’ve been to an AE event, DIY music and art had continued to play a major role in my life and I often relate new happenings to stuff that I experienced at those eye-opening college shows. As I mentioned I’ve been playing in a local band and it’s been a goal of ours since day one to play any and all locations that we get asked to play. Performing at bars or traditional venues is cool and all, but there is a whole ‘nother level of fun to playing at a pizza place or a skate park or a specialty gaming shop. These space aren’t being used to their max potential; let’s set up a show there!!
Facilitating that approach as well is a group I’ve been lucky enough to see grow into a real community this last summer, The Dial down here in Temecula/Murrieta. A welcoming, open-minded, adventurous group of people who melt the raw approach and aesthetic I’m used to from hardcore with a rounded, inclusive artistic scope that has grown more important to me as I’ve grown older myself, it’s been a blessing for the boring suburban area we live in down here just the way that Acrobatics was for the monotonous world that is UCI. I am constantly referring to you guys when making suggestions for new artists to invite, modes of operation, etc. You guys made it clear to me that doing things on the underground level and with a pretty much non-existent budget didn’t have to confine you to local punk shows exclusively; I hate to sound cheesy, but you helped me see that there really is a whole wide world of possibilities out there. It’s just a matter of reaching out.
So there it is. It’s been a year and a half since I’ve seen you all but the significance is still there with me. It’s crazy to think that its already been 5 years since that initial show; time really does fly. The loneliness and isolation and disconnect that I talked about at the beginning of this rambling ramble, I still feel that in a lot of ways. That’s just part of who I am; its’ just difficult for me to create meaningful connections in this world. But Acrobatics Everyday was something that helped me break out of my shell when I really needed that and you helped me grow. I know it’s cool to be detached and ironic or whatever these days, but I’m gonna come right out and say it: Thank you for everything. I love you guys.
Rock n roll will never die. \_/
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