Monday, September 9, 2013

The Story Of No-Face

   I will preface this story by acknowledging that it is kinda dark and some people may not understand or appreciate the Humour being expressed.

   Several months ago I was at the Leisenring house and Big Mark came out to the garage to smoke a cigar. He was a bit swervy and you could just tell that things were about to become hilarious. He was in a good mood.
   I can't remember what would have sparked this story, why it ever even came up, but it was incredibly appropriate at the moment and has remained strongly embedded in my memory.

   When Big Mark was in high school, way back in the day, there was some guy he knew who had really low confidence in himself. Just the way he even began the story gave off the impression, "the person I'm about to talk about is fucking pathetic."

   Somehow this guy did manage to find a girlfriend, but it didn't last long, and she broke up with him. He got all distraught about that and his initial reaction was to commit suicide by sticking a gun in his mouth and shooting his brains out. This guy was a fucking loser though and he failed. He just shot off his face and turned himself into a mutant.

   A few weeks after that all happened, the guy worked up the courage to return to school and show everyone what he had become. He even tried to reconnect with the girl who dumped him but of course that was fruitless.

   Mark and his friends gave him the name "No-Face" because he didn't have a face anymore. I can still to this day distinctly recall Mark recounting how they berated him:

   "You really did it this time, No-Face; Now you got no face!!
   She's never gonna take you back now."

   Pretty much everyone in the garage collapsed into uncontrollable fits of laughter upon hearing this because it was so absolutely, ludicrously heartless.

   Mark said he wasn't sure what happened to that guy after high school and went back inside.

   "You really did it this time, No-Face."

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