PRODUCT REVIEW: Warheads Sour Chewy Cubes

   I bought these candies yesterday at the 76 gas station in the Promenade Mall circle. KP and I went in while en route to Gravity practice; I intended to get some iced tea but Pure Leaf was out of their "unsweetened" variety, and they are like the only tea brand who even offers such a variety. So I just grabbed a water and foolishly walked into the candy aisle, a place where I found myself weak and helpless against the forces of temptation. I quickly scanned the row of delicious treats, unable to decide what I wanted - looking carefully at the Laffy Taffy and then looking away, reminding myself that I already have Sour Patch Kids in my backpack, instinctively deciding against all things chocolate. I had consumed a PayDay only a fortnight previous so that was out of the question.
   I noticed that KP was already paying, and I've been trying to be slightly more mindful about my extreme lagging lately (although I don't think it shows whatsoever) so I just hurried up and grabbed the thing that was in my direct vision at the moment - Warheads Sour Chewy Cubes.

   In my mind, I expected "chewy" to represent a Starburst/Mamba-type texture, with the kind of high-level sourness that the Warheads brand is synonymous with. Sadly, however, both of these assumptions were wrong and the reality of these candies is something far less satisfying. The very moment I began chewing I was disappointed.
   First of all, the "chewiness" was not the quasi-taffy type that I had envisioned, but was of a softer and more easily-disintegrated texture that did not provide the same physical satisfaction. I know this is gonna sound like a nightmare to anyone who has even the slightest basic knowledge of dentistry, but I kinda like getting all that sticky shit stuck on my teeth.
   Secondly, the "sourness" is hardly there whatsoever. I mean, come on, this is supposed to be a Warheads product; I expected an almost upsetting level of sourness. I expected the sourness to come from within, not via a slight smattering of sour dust like a damn gummy worm. For shame.

   The best way to describe these terrible candies is that they're like gumdrops coated with an insultingly minimal amount of Sour Patch dust, and the end result is just as dismal as that sounds.

   I gave KP one and he was like "It's not that ba..." and then made the tell-tale face of disgust that will heretoforth be associated primarily with Warheads Sour Chewy Cubes.

The Gravitys

In all the forces,
It is the strongest, but also definitely the weakest.

Something there just cannot be quantified.
It can't be measured.

But it brings you down to ground level and it holds you there.
It holds things together.

It makes complete sense until you get to the purely cellular level,
And suddenly the entire thing falls apart.

It makes no sense at all and every item is loosely about;
Randomly dis-positioned.

There in the center, the very being.


Luckily, some flesh cannot be cut.
No design can be imposed.
No one can ever see that buried scar.

No worldly effects can ever help.
No pedal can hold it.

This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb.

Keep smiling and dialing.
Biology is real.
DRIVE SAFELY!!!

\_/

The Coltranes

You brought your family here, to this place of silent hatred and confusion and horror,
Where spirits of former communities continue to menace and sweetly make their way into the minds of new owners

The whole narrative had been there always
"Our little group has always been,
And always will.

Until the end."

We have to give it back to future owners
We must allow things to smother us,
To forget us

We must recycle.

"Seven liters of your own doing. When it's wasted you will just replace it.
It's called Nutrition."

The Turtle

Why do you act like The Turtle is your friend?
Have you ever looked into his eyes?
He just wants to escape,
To get away from this see through box he cannot get out of,



This place of deceit and constant flow,

Where the purifier is always on.
This place that cannot be real.

K-Pax

   Who are these jokes directed towards?
   Who is supposed to 'get' all this?
   Who do you think is adding things up?

   What value can there be when everything, every single thing is only halfway there?

   Just perhaps. Always maybe.

   Who can tell?
   What's the fucking end-game here?

   Are you ever going to tie things together?
   Are you ever going to justify this abuse?

   I hope you figure shit out man because I just don't know much longer I can take this.

   Rock n roll will never die,
   But you will.

ALBUM REVIEW: Rexx - "My Last Moment Of Teenage Angst"

   Rexx is the one-man-band project of Rex Osterkamp, formerly of the band MHV. Although loop/FX-driven solo acts have long been something difficult for me to mesh with, I've enjoyed his live sets when I've seen him play. He always at least appears to be having a good time with his songs, in contrast to many overly-sullen (or just sucky) loopers.
   He was booked for a set at The Dial last night with Puzzle and The Aquadolls that I was unsure whether I would go to or not. The Chargers were playing The Colts on Monday Night Football as well, so that pretty much took precedent over any other plan that could be introduced. Come around 6:30 I was still somewhat considering heading to the warehouse when the game was over, however, so I streamed his new album "My Last Moment Of Teenage Angst" from Bandcamp during commercials and injury breaks.

   Rexx's songs, not too short or simplistic but not overreaching or confounded either, actually worked very well in the disjointed fashion that I listened to them in; much like commercials they are each well-encaspulated and well-proportioned. Although sonically it fits into a general indie-wave mold, there is enough variance in vibe to make the whole thing not feel tiresome. Most of the tracks are upbeat and indie-danceable but others find a more brooding - yet somehow still slightly playful - middle ground.
   The only minor flaws are that the drum programming (while much better-sounding than a large majority of programmed drums people pass off in this mixed-up lofi-for-lofi's-sake world) really puts a one-dimensional feel across the album that becomes almost distracting as it moves along. Also, the vocals are at times (perhaps intentionally) a bit weak/washy, although again, not nearly so much as many of the singular-project people in Rexx's 'genre'. On the whole it's a cool listen, though; catchy stuff.

   My buddy David came over and watched the second half of the Chargers game with me and I continued to play songs during commercials because I have an OCD complex about finishing albums once I'm a certain length of the way through. David is more into melodic death metal and old school punk than anything else, but he has a fairly open mind and partway through one of the tracks - I think during the deceptively-upbeat "Going Blind" - he asked me "who is this?" I basically recited the first paragraph of this review to him and he was like "Cool. My dog's name is Rex."
   A few moments later he just randomly laughed and said "My dog made an album!!!!!"

   I never did go to the show because MNF ran until about 8:40, The Aquadolls dropped off the show at the last minute (again), and I was just kinda over the idea of going out at that point. When David left I decided to just go on a walk and write this review to get my mind tired. I haven't been sleeping well for a good long while now, and I think a big part of that is vegging out on football and online albums all day instead of getting my blood flowing or ever using my mind.

   By the way, The Chargers won!! It was fucking awesome, we were making play after play all night and then at the end we were up by 10 points...but The Colts got the ball back with 2 minutes left to play, and we all know how The Chargers like to give up sizable leads at the last second. It's like, a fetish of theirs or something. THIS TIME, however, Andrew Luck threw an interception at the last goddamn minute and my dogs got scared from my dad and I screaming victory screams from both ends of the house.
   Like I said, fucking awesome.

http://rexxagain.bandcamp.com/album/my-last-moment-of-teenage-angst

   - This was written in an hour while listening to "A Universal Plague" by Abiotic and the Greylife/Otis "Epidemic of the Forked Tongue" split

Playlist for September 2013

   This is a list of all the albums, EPs, and demos I listened to in their entirety during the month of September 2013. Afterward are my notes, followed by a list of live performances I saw in that time period, followed by a list of the movies I watched this month as well.
   I was kind-of in a slump during the middle of the month (more-so than I already normally am) and that can be evidenced by the greatly diminished amount of music going on between the 5th and the 18th.

MUSIC PLAYLIST
9/1/13
MethXBreath - Demo 2013
Crush - Tour EP
Higher Learning - DIY Demo 2K10
Clarity - Demo 2011
FocusedXMinds - "Straight Edge Overload" EP
The Filthy Violets - "Lackluster Blvd." EP

9/2/13
iamsu! - "Young California"
Zak Waters - "New Normal" EP
Freeway - "Diamond in the Ruff"
Social Club - "Misfits"

9/3/13
The Internet - "Purple Naked Ladies"

9/4/13
Quitapenas - "Mas Tropical Vol. 1" EP
9th Wonder - "The Wonder Years"

9/5/13
Danzig - "II: Lucifuge"

9/6/13
The Replacements - "Let It Be"

9/12/13
The Replacements - "Let It Be"

9/13/13
The Replacements - "Let It Be"

9/14/13
Funeral Oration - "Say No To Life"

9/16/13
Poison The Well - "You Come Before You"
Ground Up - 2008 Demo

9/17/13
Crisis Arm - "Caterwaul"
The Gravitys - "Bring You Down"

9/18/13
Kaioken - 2013 Demo
The Illustrative Violet - "Such A Thing As Everything" EP
The Grinning Ghosts - "Pastiche Depression" EP

9/19/13
New Beat Fund - "Coinz" EP
Names Divine - "Thankful"

9/21/13
end of the summer - "Second" EP
Snapcase - "Lookinglasself"

9/22/13
Airs - "Adore"
Apathean - "Eve"
The Burning Of Rome - "With Us"
The Psychedelic Furs - "Midnight To Midnight"
Tiny Telephones - "The Heavenly Child"
The Octopus Project - "Hello, Avalanche"
Big Bad Buffalo - "First" EP
Swift Intruders - "The Sky Readings" EP

9/23/13
Joan Of Arc - "The Gap"
Cruel Hand - "Lock & Key"

9/24/13
Balance and Composure - "The Things We Think We're Missing"
Jeans Wilder - "Simpler Times" EP
Wolf Parade - 2003 EP
Mission Of Burma - "Vs."
end of the summer - "Second" EP

9/25/13
Tropical Popsicle - "The Dawn of Delight"
end of the summer - "Second" EP
Life's Blood - "Defiance" EP
end of the summer - "Second" EP

9/26/13
end of the summer - "Second" EP
Belle and Sebastian - "3...6...9 Seconds Of Light" EP
Belle and Sebastian - "This is Just a Modern Rock Song" EP

9/27/13
The Dickheads - "SxTxCx" demo
Wretched Philiproy - Demo

9/30/13
Forest Kingdom - "Eldritch" EP
Nicole Kidman - "-" cassette

MUSIC NOTES:
- FocusedXMinds are fucking over the top
- Between The Filthy Violets, iamsu!, Zak Waters, Social Club, and New Beat Fund, I listened to a lot of really shitty up-and-comers this month
- I like The Internet
- "Lucifuge" is just so goddamn badass
- I listened to "Let It Be" wayyy more times than this list would imply; on the 12th me and Spenny listened to it on repeat for several hours and then it was in the ratcar for several days...Before this binge I was mainly into "Answering Machine" and "Unsatisfied" but at this point I'm heavily addicted to each and every song on there.
- "Say No To Life" is much different than "Communion" and not nearly as jammed into my head as that album is, but all the acoustic flourishes really put it into competition as my favorite Funeral Oration album
- "Caterwaul" is without a doubt the best album of 2013
- The Illustrative Violet is really good.
- new end of the summer EP available now through Not Punk Records
- wow I forgot how good "Lookinglasself" is. Same for Mission Of Burma in general
- AIRS
- Apathean has been asking me to review that album since before it came out and I
finally listened to it...review coming eventually
- damn Cruel Hand is badass how did I sleep on them for so long
- for some reason I thought Balance And Composure was gonna be some lame poetry-core band like La Dispute but not so much, theyre really good
- LIFE'S BLOOD
- "This is Just a Modern Rock Song"
- Pat from The Dickheads asked me this very morning (10/2) to review The Dickheads on this shit-talking blog...Man are they in for it
- Happy birthday Dusty

LIVE:
9/6/13 - Crisis Arm/Dogs @ Blood Orange Infoshop (Crisis Arm's "Caterwaul" release show)
9/7/13 - Crisis Arm/Obsolete Sun/Dogs/Save The Swim Team/(The Gravitys)/Beanvian Stalks Guava/The Nest @ The Dial (International Cassette Store Day Fest)
9/15/13 - Sneeze/(end of the summer) @ The Dial
9/19/13 - The Grinning Ghosts/The Illustrative Violet/Dani Poppit @ The Dial
9/20/13 - Divided Heaven/Bradley Riot/(end of the summer)/No Red Alice/Jason Crook @ The Dial
9/27/13 - The Dickheads/Beanvian Stalks Guava/Sold Souls @ The Dial
9/28/13 - Pardon Me Sir/Liquid/C. Kitten/Beanvian Stalks Guava @ The Dial

LIVE NOTES:
- I feel so stupid for having slept through the entire Crisis Arm cassette release show and then making a complete ass out of myself and dissolving my own band's set at International Cassette Store Day...I'm sorry to everybody I insulted, irritated, or otherwise imposed upon that weekend. That shit sucked.
- Sneeze was dope as fuck but they sold me a goddamn Youth Large shirt...Can't nobody rock a damn Youth Large, especially not my fat ass
- The Illustrative Violet is really good
- Beanvian Stalks Guava are just such swell fellas


MOVIES
9/3/13
"When A Man Loves A Woman"

9/4/13
"The Weatherman"
"The Place Beyond The Pines"

9/5/13
"The Iceman"

9/8/13
"The House Bunny"

9/14/13
"Role Models"

9/16/13
"30 Minutes Or Less"

9/18/13
"Strange Brew"

9/19/13
"Now You See Me"

MOVIE NOTES
- "The Weatherman" is a weird, weird movie
- Goddamn "The Place Beyond The Pines" was good
- My co-worker claims that "Strange Brew" is her favorite movie of all time but I just don't get it
- "Now You See Me" is by far one of the stupidest goddamned movies I have seen in quite a long time