Last October I interviewed Paul Collins when he came to perform at The Dial warehouse in Murrieta with his longstanding band The Beat. For those who are unfamiliar, Collins is a fairly iconic figure in early DIY rock n roll, having first performed in the seminal 1970s groups The Nerves and The Breakaways before starting The Beat and continuing to perform with various incarnations of the band for over 30 years. He is sometimes referred to as "the King of Power Pop" due to his various groups' contributions to the development and popularity of the style, as well as his unwavering dedication to its survival through non-stop DIY touring. Considering his influence both to the power pop genre and to underground tour networking in general, I made a point to get some words in with him while he was in town to better understand his perspective on these aspects of American rock culture that he's spent the better part of his life dedicated to.
It took me way too long to transcribe this but here's how our conversation went:
Ian: This is Ian speaking with Paul Collins from The Nerves, The Beat, The Breakaways, many other incarnations; First of all, how are you doing tonight?
Paul: I'm good, I'm happy to be in Hemet
I: Actually we're in Temecula right now
P: Oh, Temecula
(laughter)
[We were in Murrieta]
I: I just have a couple questions because you have kind of embodied the DIY thing for a long time. I did notice when I was looking up The Nerves - I've been a fan for a long time but this was the first time I really looked into your history - you had set up a tour way back in the day when you guys were first starting out and you kind of did that all by yourself, before that was really the thing to do
P: I believe it was one of the first DIY national tours ever.
I: How did you go about [booking that]? Did you contact the bands themselves or the clubs themselves...?
P: We contacted the clubs. I just did my research which was by looking at newspapers or calling, getting people - actually, one time I think I called a police station to find out the clubs where they were busting people! Just, this is back in the day, before Internet and cell phones and all that so you had to - actually the tour, the claim to fame was that I [literally] booked it on a dime, because I would go to a payphone and I would call the operator and I would say, 'how much is a call to Chicago?' '$2.15 for the first 3 minutes.' So I would call back and say, 'hey I was calling Chicago, a number in Chicago, and I got cut off!' and they'd say, 'well how much did you put in?' and I'd say '$2.15!" So if you had the right amount, they believed you. 'Okay sir, we'll reconnect you." So I had to do all my business in 3 minutes.
I: Damn that's pretty cool. So to juxtapose that, and I'd agree that's one of the earliest methods of underground touring...
P: Yeah we were so pre-"DIY" that we didn't know it was "DIY"
I: You just had to do what you had to do
P: That's right
I: And so now, it's like, you were on kind-of bigger labels, you did stuff in the '80s like "American Bandstand" - I can't even believe that - and now you're doing the DIY tour circuit again, how do you feel about [then versus now], do you see like a parallel or do you feel like there's a different [vibe]?
P: It's totally different. The biggest thing that changed everything was the Internet. I mean you can network online. That makes a big difference. And there's a lot more bands to network with and the concept of DIY is a lot more accepted. But it's [also] still the same, the nuts and bolts are still the same: you're going out there by yourself or with another band, and it's rough & tumble and down & dirty & gritty, and you're still struggling for exposure and to get people to come out -- To Get People To Come Out. You know, rock n roll, at its nucleus, is in the clubs, and it's always been that way. You go see a band, you get turned onto them, and you get that whole experience of feeling that music live
I: In person
P: That's where the energy level is. I mean, records are great too, records are great because they travel all over the world, and some guy in New Zealand can listen to your record that you made in New York or in California. But it's come full-circle; I mean that's why all the bands are out, from Bruce Springsteen and Lady Gaga all the way down. The road is where it's at now.
I: That's something I had wanted to ask you about - in your career you've had experience with larger arena-type acts; did you ever feel like you had a disconnect with them because you had this understanding of the "DIY" ethic early on when the 'rockstar' attitude was probably even more prevalent than now; Can you speak to that at all?
P: No, I mean I've been hustling all my life, I've always been hustling. We met some of those big people but we were never at [the level of] one of them. It's a big deal, I mean, I don't know what its like to walk out onstage in front of 20,000 people or 60,000 people. I can't wrap my frame around that one. Definitely, some people play for more people than I play for in 5 years in one night. So, right now I've come to accept my position in this and I just out and do it. My main thing right now is just to get the people in the room. That's all it's about for me, whether it's 5, 10, 20, 100, 200...
I: Like you were saying, [you're] just doing what you're doing; a lot of the music that you've made is strongly associated with 'power pop,' often seen as one of its foundations. How do you feel about that term, 'power pop'? Do you feel that it is something that does actually characterize what you've done?
P: When it first came out, we hated it. We thought it was, you know, bogus and empty; and of course we considered ourselves a rock n roll band, sure. But power pop is a genre of rock n roll, and I what I say to people now about this whole thing - because it is a pro and a con, it's kind-of a stigma, like power pop is nerdy or whatever or that it's not mainstream (and well, it isn't mainstream) - but, power pop to me embodies all the best parts of any great rock n roll: great songs, great guitar licks, great melodies, great harmonics...
I: And quickly done a lot of the time; [songs] don't take, like, forever
P: I read a review, or I heard something, whatever, I read or heard something about Elton John's new album. It said, if he spends more than 40 minutes on a new song, he gets bored. So, some stuff happens quickly, some things take a long time to find their place, you know? Power pop today, it doesn't mean anything of what it did back then. Back then it was a curse. Today its not a curse anymore and I embrace it because - for better or worse - that's what people say I do, so I'm not gonna fight it. But it's an underground genre, and it's still a genre that really needs a lot of help. Bands that do this kind of music, it's tough! You can't go out there and make a living doing this! I mean, I'm doing it now by the skin of my ass. And I'm thankful for that, but in general, it's not like "indie rock." It's not like "garage rock" where [they can go] make 30 grand in a night. Why? Why? Is it because this music isn't good? Because it's inferior? It doesn't have the same kind of merit or quality? It's fucked up. But it's the way it is. And a lot of times, just like, getting people exposed to it - once they get exposed to it they love it - but it's so underground and it's so niche, it's struggling for its survival. I think after now, power pop is in its second generation, so there's no doubt - there can be no doubt - that it's a valid, legitimate genre. But it's still fighting for its life. Plus, the power pop today, is not, you know...I think I see it as a much more elastic genre than it was back in the day. Kids today - they absorbed the music from the past and they make it their own. It's an influence that can be combined with a number of other ones.
I: And at this point, there are so many "pasts"; kids are looking at all these different things, and obviously because of the Internet we're able to find things that in the past was a bit more difficult to mine into
P: People in general have this mania to classify things, but at the end of the day it's still rock n roll. To me, Chuck Berry is rock n roll and Sex Pistols are rock n roll. Although they're not the same, they're still rock n roll.
I: I completely agree with you...Kind of related to that [idea of genres being related], I noticed that you have an alternative-country side band or something?
P: A lot of people say that. I went through a period where I put out an album or two like that, but I don't have a side project.
I: Okay maybe I'm misreading into that
P: No, people have said that
I: Did you ever do anything, like, in the country circuit?
P: Listen, if I went to Nashville, they would shoot me in my head. I am so...I am not country, even if I have songs that might remotely sound a bit country. Most rock n roll musicians love country; country and rock n roll and blues, they're all intertwined. I mean, rock n rollers love Johnny Cash.
I: And Willie Nelson
P: A bunch of cats
I: Alright well I need to actually go get ready for my own set, and I'm really stoked for yours. This is gonna be great.
P: Wait, you're playing a set?
I: Yeah I play in the band right before you
P: Which one?
I: I play in a band called The Gravitys
P: Oh cool
I: But that's besides the point
P: Are we gonna have people here tonight, Ian?
[In a fortunate turn of events, several of my own friends happened to show up and pass by the van right at this moment]
I: I'm trying; Here's some people!
P: There ya go, there's some people
I: Hopefully there's gonna be more...
P: Alright let me ask you, why is it so hard to get people out?
I: Honestly I don't know; My experience has been that nowadays bands are so damn aggressive, you know? [In] my band, I play like an acoustic guitar plugged into an electric amp and I'm pretty melodic with it, and that's always been my goal because a lot of my friends are in hardcore bands or in metal bands or things like that. Sometimes, like, kids just wanna mosh. They're so into the aggressive side of things that they're forgetting about the actual songcraft.That's what I think is kinda lost in the shuffle of saying 'I can play faster than you' or 'I'm more technical than you;' they forget about songcraft I think. So there's this built-in crowd around that and they're just not as interested in more song-based music I think.
P: So maybe we should start a thrash metal band.
[Laughter]
I: I don't think so. I don't want that to happen. Well I'm gonna tie this up cuz I do need to help my drummer
P: Well, listen, thank you for helping us get the word out. You're a part of The Dial?
I: Yeah!
P: Well thats very cool
I: Indeed...Well my last question that I try to ask anybody I interview, and it's kinda arbitrary: what would you say is your favorite breakfast food?
P: My favorite food now is the way they serve breakfast in Australia, which is: fried eggs with some fried mushrooms, fried tomatoes, toast, crispy bacon, and sometimes they put a little bit of steamed spinach. They call it "brekky." It's awesome.
I: That sounds very good. Alright Paul, thanks for the time and insight
P: Good luck on your set!
I: Thank you!!
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Friday, June 6, 2014
Playlist for May 2014
This is a list of all the full-length albums, EPs, demos, singles etc. that I listened to in their entirety during the month of May 2014. Afterwards are lists of the movies I watched, shows I went to, zines I read, and my notes regarding all.
5/1/14
Clitorati - "At Least We're Not Arby's"
The Two Tone Boners - 2013 Live Demo
Such A Mess - "Times Like These" EP
Second Guess - "The Greatest Hits" EP
Go Deep - "Counseling" EP
VYGR/At Our Heels/Griever - 3-way spli
Desperate Living - Demo 2012
Bone Sickness - Demo
Skinfather - "Succession/Possession" EP
Nails - "Obscene Humanity" EP
ele - "Noir" EP
Dirt Squad - Demo 2013
La Bella - "Recomposition" EP
5/2/14
Man Vs Man - "MvM" EP
Griever - "Inferior" EP
Circle Takes The Square - "Decompositions: Volume Number One"
The Speaking Tongues - S/T
Pretty Little Demons - "Unknown Species"
5/3/14
Peg - "Unwinding of a Vein" digital single
Hydro Thunder Hurricane - 2014 Demo
Burn Infinite - "En Fury" EP
Caveman Movies - "Presents..." EP
5/4/14
Endeavor/Servants - split
The Gravitys - "Unplugged at The Dial" EP
AvLMKR - "Thugged Out" mixtape
My Iron Lung - "No Such Thing" EP
Gates - "You Are All You Have Left To Fear"
Frameworks - "Small Victories" EP
Tiny Moving Parts - "Old Maid"/"Coffee With Tom" 7"
Malditas Drogas - Demo 12
Kybele - "Slipped Out" digital single
Lost Years - "Traditions"
5/5/14
WCKR SPGT - "Shitty Lou"
Wooden Wand & The Vanishing Voice - "Early Days, Volume 1"
5/6/14
Holy Shit! - S/T
Simon Joyner - "Ghosts" 2XLP
Roxy Music - "Avalon"
Japanese Game Show - "Live at Lucky's 1.11.13"
5/7/14
KRAMPVS - "Hangman's Noose" EP
Rodents Of Unusual Size - Demo
Them Jeans - "Balloons" EP
Gardens & Villa - S/T EP
Crisis Arm - "Rend"
Little Bear "I'd Let You Winn" digital single
Half Goon - "Thee Men's Warehouse Session" EP
Ground Up - March 2008 Demo
Supertramp - "Breakfast in America"
5/8/14
Whip Hand - "Carnal Sect" EP
New Gods - "Sex & Destroy" EP
Serengeti - "Brett and Vance" digital single
Yoni Wolf - "Old Dope" mixtape
5/9/14
Downward Spiral - "Fall" EP
New Gods - Demo 2013
Haruka - S/T EP
Prince - "3121"
Faith No More - "The Real Thing"
5/10/14
Holy Shit! - "Jazz Phase" EP
Prettiest Eyes - "PEEP" EP
Fury - 6-song demo
Strike Fast - "Time's Up" digital single
New Brigade - Demo
No Truce - "My Life. My Struggle" EP
Vanna - "The Search Party Never Came" EP
5/14/14
Melting Corpse - "Ramirez" demo
Adolescents - S/T
5/15/14
Lobster Party - "Party of One" digital single
Ed Ghost Tucker - "Sofia" digital single
Inspired And The Sleep - "Fly Low" digital single
Pharmakon - "Abandon"
5/16/14
Birote The Musical - "Things Could Be Way Worse...I Forget What I Was About To Say"
DK Slider/File Island/Suzy's Dead - 3-way split
Dogs - "Inquire Within" digital single
Robber's Roost - "Live @ The Filling Station"
CityCop/Les Doux - "Family Ties"/"Labors of Love" split EP
So Much Light - "Supine/Spellbound"
5/17/14
Astronaut Samurais - "I'm Gonna Stay The Night" EP
Caveman Movies - "The Digital Tracks"
enjoiSka - "Dirty Love Songs" EP
Blood Orphans - S/T EP
The Telephone Projects - "Sigil." EP
Be Still Cody/bulldog eyes - split EP
Plastic City Pariah - "A Rambling of Somewhat & Some Sort"
Hot Hot Heat - "Elevator"
bulldog eyes - "Shame"
Exiled Force - "The Dirty Dog" demo
Blood Orphans - "blanket ghost" EP
The Crucifucks - S/T
Active Kissers - S/T EP
5/18/24
Igor Amokian - "Beat Expo Sampler" digital single
cleaninglady - "Friday 01/02/13" digital single
Pigs Of Exile - "Hey Girl" digital single
Golly Gee Whiz - "Pony Should Mashup Pony (Nonsexually)" digital single
Dogs Of Ire - "Sterile Thoughts From A First World"
Media Jeweler - "No Exit" digital single
Canyons - "Human Pyramid" digital single
flowergirl - "My Therapist is a Rapist and I Want to Die" digital single
Wide Streets - "Little Babies" EP
Holy Shit! - "What The Fuck?" EP
Arjuna Genome - "The Universe is Blinking"
Singled Out - West Coast Tour March 2014 Promo CD
Heathers - "Fear" 7"
Post Life - "23" digital single
Dash Jacket - "Ten Thousand Things"
The Crucifucks - "Wisconsin"
Surprise Vacation - S/T digital single
The Freeze - "Freak Show"
Neighborhood Brats - "Total Dementia" EP
Holy Shit! - "Jesus Fucking Christ!" cassette
Zero Boys - "Pro-Dirt" EP
Goldfinger - S/T
Pod Blotz/Mark Lord - split
Witch Prayer - "The High Priestess Reigns Again" EP
Dissension - "Why Work For Death?"
Fejhed - S/T
The Freeze - "Crawling Blind"
Jay Levy - "Classy Enough for a Cardigan, Punk Enough for Jameson"
Dharma - "Sea Nothing" EP
5/19/14
Struckout - "You're Not Very Good At This" EP
Band Aparte - 4-song demo CD
French Exit - "statecheck" digital single
Hard Girls - "Isn't It Worse?"
The Acetates - "Self Portrait (alt. mix)" digital single
Summer Vacation - "Condition"
Skate Death - "You Break It You Buy It"
The Crazy Brave - "Television Television" digital single
Pg. 99 - "document #8"
Filter - "Short Bus"
Calculator - "New Forms" EP
Imaginary Pants - "Kites at Night" EP
The Teen Idles - "Minor Disturbance" EP
Pig DNA - "LIVENOTLIVEFUCKER" digital single
Bogsey & The Argonauts - "Skinned Knees"
5/20/14
What Life Is - "Ill Intentions" EP
Embrace - S/T
5/21/14
Courtaud & Bobtail - "I Can't Get My Shoes On" single/EP
5/22/14
Integrity - "In Contrast of Sin" EP
Go Deep - "Counseling" EP
What Life Is - "Ill Intentions" EP
The Gravitys - "Nutrition (rough mixes)"
5/23/14
Leechbath - "Insight" digital single
Ridgeway - "Sleep" EP
Head Creeps - 2014 Demo
Vices - "The Out Crowd Blues" EP
7 Seconds - "New Wind" demo
Innards - "I've Lost Everything"
Cursed Graves - S/T EP
V/A - "Metal For The Masses Vol. 666" Century Media Records sampler CD
5/24/14
Wiccans - "Field II"
Encyclopedia Of American Traitors - "Discography"
Steel Cranes - "Ouroboros"
V/A - "The Hard & The Heavy" Disc 1
Tzadikim Nistarim - S/T 7"
Maladjusted - "Death is the Only Relief" EP
SOA - "No Policy" EP
Gas Up Yr Hearse/Coma Regalia - split 7"
Cottontail/Moon Bandits - split 7"
Gorilla Biscuits - "Start Today"
Suicide Machines - "Destruction By Definition"
5/25/14
end of the summer - "Three" EP
The Gravitys - "Nutrition (rough mixes)"
Charlie Moon - "Little" EP
V/A - "The Hard & The Heavy" Disc 2
Enta/Anodes - split EP
Minor Threat - S/T EP
Government Issue - "Legless Bull" EP
Minor Threat - "In My Eyes" EP
Youth Brigade - "Possible" EP
5/26/14
VERSEatyle - "The Reel" mixtape
Thrash Kitten - "Are You Kitten Me?" EP
The Art Of Noise - "The Best Of"
EmptySev - "Seven Empty"
Norma Jean - "Bless The Martyr and Kiss the Child"
George Michael - "Patience"
Real J. Wallace - "HashOilBluntFullOfKeef" digital single
Sea Of Trees - S/T
P.O.D. - "Satellite"
The Effigies - "Reside"
External Menace - "The Process of Elimination"
B.Watt ft. Nevonte Sparks - "JFK (Head Shot)" digital single
Foxmoulder/Coma Regalia - split 5"
My Former Self - 4-song promo CD
Bam Circa 86 - "Soufca Rising" digital single
Ten Grand/Meth and Goats - split 7"
Mr. Bungle - S/T
5/27/14
Youth Code - S/T
Secret Smoker - "Part Time Retail" digital single
Whirr - "Pipe Dreams"
External Menace - "Seize The Day" EP
Bastro - "Sing The Troubled Beast"
Nothing - "Guilty Of Everything"
The Coltranes - "I've Got Heaven In My Smile"
The Gravitys - "Nutrition (rough mixes)"
5/28/14
Rudimentary Peni - "Echoes of Anguish"
Joos - "Don't Smile" digital single
The Insect Surfers - "Infra Green" LP Version
Suzy's Dead - S/T EP
Michael Jackson - "Xscape"
Shad - "The Old Prince"
5/29/14
Helmet - "Unsung: The Best Of Helmet (1991-1997)"
5/30/14
Nayru - "Recollections"
Flowers Taped To Pens - "Nice To Meet You, I Hate You"
5/31/14
The Saddest Landscape - "Exit Wounded" EP
Gang Green - "Another Wasted Night"
60 Cycle Hum - "Don't Cast Your Spell On Me" EP
Adaje - "Yore Veils"
Ghost Noise - "This is the Next Part of Your Dream"
At The Drive-In - "Acrobatic Tenement"
Suis La Lune - "Riala"
Bur Gur - "Alligator Cheesecake"
Jurassic Shark - "Miracle" EP
Saves The Day - "Stay What You Are"
NOTES:
- Clitorati and The Two Tone Boners are both just as stupid as their names would imply
- Go Deep had their van and all their possessions stolen, including nearly an entire album's worth of recordings, while in the middle of the country on tour a few weeks ago; help them out if you have anything to donate: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/go-deep-we-were-robbed-in-chicago
- Favorite 'new finds' for this month: Bone Sickness, ele, Gates, Half Goon, New Gods, Holy Shit!, Pharmakon, So Much Light, bulldog eyes, Media Jeweler, Hard Girls, Pg. 99, Encyclopedia Of American Traitors, EmptySev, Youth Code, Bastro, Suis La Lune
- Worst of the month: Malditas Drogas, enjoiSka, Active Kissers, Golly Gee Whiz, Jay Levy, Pig DNA, Tzadikim Nistarim
- New releases from Skinfather, Circle Takes The Square, Crisis Arm, Zero Boys, Vices, Whirr, and Nothing all kick major ass
- "Breakfast In America" is so classic...Some old fat guy who got hired at my call center says he did some minor engineering on it back in the 70s which is badass if true but I don't see why it wouldn't be because he introduced the subject without him knowing that "Casual Conversations" has become an obsession of mine come lately...He said the saxophone parts were recorded in a bathroom
- Goddamn Pharmakon is brutal
- I'm not much into folk punk because much of it seems so unauthentic but in terms of musicality in that realm Robber's Roost is pretty legit. Similarly most surf music all the sounds exactly the same to me but The Insect Surfers really fucking wail; very very good guitar work on that album.
- The Crucifucks have really grown on me over the years, especially the second album "Wisconsin"
- Every time I listen to that Dogs Of Ire CD its as good as it was when I first was blown away by it...One of my favorite hardcore albums of the last 10 years for sure
-I almost never listen to multiple releases by the same artist in the same day but that happened with both Blood Orphans, Holy Shit! and The Freeze this month, the latter 2 both occurring on the 18th together....Not mention listening to those EPs by Go Deep and What Life Is multiple times...At least with the others they're different releases
- Dissension and Skate Death were both highly underrated...I have albums from both on a collection CD called "Hit Squad For God 2" and I'm surprised I can't really learn anything about either band because the music itself is really good, especially the Skate Death album..."My Parents Are Disappointed"
- What the hell ever happened to What Life Is???
- I can't wait to unveil the new Gravitys album to the world because that shit fucking kicks ass
- Listening to "The Hard & The Heavy" compilation after all these years really cemented home how godforsakenly terrible most of the metal music coming out in the late 90s was
- My copy of "Start Today" is scratched to shit
- You read that right: I listened to full-length albums from both George Michael and P.O.D. in the same day...I can't say I'm proud of every decision I've ever made let's just leave it at that
- External Menace sucks
- It's weird how all these up-and-coming rappers are trying to charge like $5 for a digital single...Like what world are they living in? How much are they used to paying for a full album?
- I never thought I would ever hear Rudimentary Peni sound as tame and boring as they do on that "Echoes Of Anguish" album...Some bands just don't benefit from increased sound production and man o man are they one of them
- The new Michael Jackson album is actually pretty alright; what sucks is that the song with the best groove happens to be about child abuse and I'm just thinking, was this really the wisest subject choice for you MJ?
- "Wilma's rainbow of peaceful colors; The richest drug dealer."
- Man the screeching tire vocals on that Nayru album are just way too much for me to take
- "Another Wasted Night. I've lost another friend."
- I didn't realize til reading about the album as I re-listened to it but "Acrobatic Tenement" has a different lineup than any of the other ATDI albums and Omar is actually playing bass not guitar...Say Whaaaaat
- Last time I checked out Jurassic Shark I actually listened to the wrong band that was mainly girls so when we played with them in Pomona a few months back I was all confused but apparently there are 2 Jurassic Sharks and the other one is from the East Coast.
SHOWS:
5/8/14 - The Coltranes/New Gods/Whip Hand/Half Goon @ The Dial
5/28/14 - Alone/Bur Gur/(end of the summer)/Suzy's Dead @ DBA256 Wine Bar
5/30/14 - La Bella/Kilgore Trout/Flowers Taped To Pens/Leechbath @ The Dial
5/31/14 - Abideer/Ghost Noise/(end of the summer)/60 Cycle Hum/Jurassic Shark @ The Dial
SHOW NOTES:
- I got a 15-minute interview with all 3 of the members from Ghost Noise after their set on the 31st; Transcription coming in like 5 months.
MOVIES:
5/8/14 - "We're The Millers"
5/16/14 - "Top Gun"
5/25/14 - "What Lies Beneath"
MOVIE NOTES:
- That was the first time I had ever seen "Top Gun," despite it being Mark Gravity's favorite movie and it constantly being played at his house
- "What Lies Beneath" is an alright movie but wasn't what I was hoping it would be like and goddamn it was long...But theres no denying Michelle Pfieffer's hotness
ZINES:
5/19/14 - KYEO Speaks 6 - Winter 2012
ZINE NOTES
- I made a list of all the artists named in KYEO 6 and have been slowing chipping away at listening to everything...Hence all the "skramz"
5/1/14
Clitorati - "At Least We're Not Arby's"
The Two Tone Boners - 2013 Live Demo
Such A Mess - "Times Like These" EP
Second Guess - "The Greatest Hits" EP
Go Deep - "Counseling" EP
VYGR/At Our Heels/Griever - 3-way spli
Desperate Living - Demo 2012
Bone Sickness - Demo
Skinfather - "Succession/Possession" EP
Nails - "Obscene Humanity" EP
ele - "Noir" EP
Dirt Squad - Demo 2013
La Bella - "Recomposition" EP
5/2/14
Man Vs Man - "MvM" EP
Griever - "Inferior" EP
Circle Takes The Square - "Decompositions: Volume Number One"
The Speaking Tongues - S/T
Pretty Little Demons - "Unknown Species"
5/3/14
Peg - "Unwinding of a Vein" digital single
Hydro Thunder Hurricane - 2014 Demo
Burn Infinite - "En Fury" EP
Caveman Movies - "Presents..." EP
5/4/14
Endeavor/Servants - split
The Gravitys - "Unplugged at The Dial" EP
AvLMKR - "Thugged Out" mixtape
My Iron Lung - "No Such Thing" EP
Gates - "You Are All You Have Left To Fear"
Frameworks - "Small Victories" EP
Tiny Moving Parts - "Old Maid"/"Coffee With Tom" 7"
Malditas Drogas - Demo 12
Kybele - "Slipped Out" digital single
Lost Years - "Traditions"
5/5/14
WCKR SPGT - "Shitty Lou"
Wooden Wand & The Vanishing Voice - "Early Days, Volume 1"
5/6/14
Holy Shit! - S/T
Simon Joyner - "Ghosts" 2XLP
Roxy Music - "Avalon"
Japanese Game Show - "Live at Lucky's 1.11.13"
5/7/14
KRAMPVS - "Hangman's Noose" EP
Rodents Of Unusual Size - Demo
Them Jeans - "Balloons" EP
Gardens & Villa - S/T EP
Crisis Arm - "Rend"
Little Bear "I'd Let You Winn" digital single
Half Goon - "Thee Men's Warehouse Session" EP
Ground Up - March 2008 Demo
Supertramp - "Breakfast in America"
5/8/14
Whip Hand - "Carnal Sect" EP
New Gods - "Sex & Destroy" EP
Serengeti - "Brett and Vance" digital single
Yoni Wolf - "Old Dope" mixtape
5/9/14
Downward Spiral - "Fall" EP
New Gods - Demo 2013
Haruka - S/T EP
Prince - "3121"
Faith No More - "The Real Thing"
5/10/14
Holy Shit! - "Jazz Phase" EP
Prettiest Eyes - "PEEP" EP
Fury - 6-song demo
Strike Fast - "Time's Up" digital single
New Brigade - Demo
No Truce - "My Life. My Struggle" EP
Vanna - "The Search Party Never Came" EP
5/14/14
Melting Corpse - "Ramirez" demo
Adolescents - S/T
5/15/14
Lobster Party - "Party of One" digital single
Ed Ghost Tucker - "Sofia" digital single
Inspired And The Sleep - "Fly Low" digital single
Pharmakon - "Abandon"
5/16/14
Birote The Musical - "Things Could Be Way Worse...I Forget What I Was About To Say"
DK Slider/File Island/Suzy's Dead - 3-way split
Dogs - "Inquire Within" digital single
Robber's Roost - "Live @ The Filling Station"
CityCop/Les Doux - "Family Ties"/"Labors of Love" split EP
So Much Light - "Supine/Spellbound"
5/17/14
Astronaut Samurais - "I'm Gonna Stay The Night" EP
Caveman Movies - "The Digital Tracks"
enjoiSka - "Dirty Love Songs" EP
Blood Orphans - S/T EP
The Telephone Projects - "Sigil." EP
Be Still Cody/bulldog eyes - split EP
Plastic City Pariah - "A Rambling of Somewhat & Some Sort"
Hot Hot Heat - "Elevator"
bulldog eyes - "Shame"
Exiled Force - "The Dirty Dog" demo
Blood Orphans - "blanket ghost" EP
The Crucifucks - S/T
Active Kissers - S/T EP
5/18/24
Igor Amokian - "Beat Expo Sampler" digital single
cleaninglady - "Friday 01/02/13" digital single
Pigs Of Exile - "Hey Girl" digital single
Golly Gee Whiz - "Pony Should Mashup Pony (Nonsexually)" digital single
Dogs Of Ire - "Sterile Thoughts From A First World"
Media Jeweler - "No Exit" digital single
Canyons - "Human Pyramid" digital single
flowergirl - "My Therapist is a Rapist and I Want to Die" digital single
Wide Streets - "Little Babies" EP
Holy Shit! - "What The Fuck?" EP
Arjuna Genome - "The Universe is Blinking"
Singled Out - West Coast Tour March 2014 Promo CD
Heathers - "Fear" 7"
Post Life - "23" digital single
Dash Jacket - "Ten Thousand Things"
The Crucifucks - "Wisconsin"
Surprise Vacation - S/T digital single
The Freeze - "Freak Show"
Neighborhood Brats - "Total Dementia" EP
Holy Shit! - "Jesus Fucking Christ!" cassette
Zero Boys - "Pro-Dirt" EP
Goldfinger - S/T
Pod Blotz/Mark Lord - split
Witch Prayer - "The High Priestess Reigns Again" EP
Dissension - "Why Work For Death?"
Fejhed - S/T
The Freeze - "Crawling Blind"
Jay Levy - "Classy Enough for a Cardigan, Punk Enough for Jameson"
Dharma - "Sea Nothing" EP
5/19/14
Struckout - "You're Not Very Good At This" EP
Band Aparte - 4-song demo CD
French Exit - "statecheck" digital single
Hard Girls - "Isn't It Worse?"
The Acetates - "Self Portrait (alt. mix)" digital single
Summer Vacation - "Condition"
Skate Death - "You Break It You Buy It"
The Crazy Brave - "Television Television" digital single
Pg. 99 - "document #8"
Filter - "Short Bus"
Calculator - "New Forms" EP
Imaginary Pants - "Kites at Night" EP
The Teen Idles - "Minor Disturbance" EP
Pig DNA - "LIVENOTLIVEFUCKER" digital single
Bogsey & The Argonauts - "Skinned Knees"
5/20/14
What Life Is - "Ill Intentions" EP
Embrace - S/T
5/21/14
Courtaud & Bobtail - "I Can't Get My Shoes On" single/EP
5/22/14
Integrity - "In Contrast of Sin" EP
Go Deep - "Counseling" EP
What Life Is - "Ill Intentions" EP
The Gravitys - "Nutrition (rough mixes)"
5/23/14
Leechbath - "Insight" digital single
Ridgeway - "Sleep" EP
Head Creeps - 2014 Demo
Vices - "The Out Crowd Blues" EP
7 Seconds - "New Wind" demo
Innards - "I've Lost Everything"
Cursed Graves - S/T EP
V/A - "Metal For The Masses Vol. 666" Century Media Records sampler CD
5/24/14
Wiccans - "Field II"
Encyclopedia Of American Traitors - "Discography"
Steel Cranes - "Ouroboros"
V/A - "The Hard & The Heavy" Disc 1
Tzadikim Nistarim - S/T 7"
Maladjusted - "Death is the Only Relief" EP
SOA - "No Policy" EP
Gas Up Yr Hearse/Coma Regalia - split 7"
Cottontail/Moon Bandits - split 7"
Gorilla Biscuits - "Start Today"
Suicide Machines - "Destruction By Definition"
5/25/14
end of the summer - "Three" EP
The Gravitys - "Nutrition (rough mixes)"
Charlie Moon - "Little" EP
V/A - "The Hard & The Heavy" Disc 2
Enta/Anodes - split EP
Minor Threat - S/T EP
Government Issue - "Legless Bull" EP
Minor Threat - "In My Eyes" EP
Youth Brigade - "Possible" EP
5/26/14
VERSEatyle - "The Reel" mixtape
Thrash Kitten - "Are You Kitten Me?" EP
The Art Of Noise - "The Best Of"
EmptySev - "Seven Empty"
Norma Jean - "Bless The Martyr and Kiss the Child"
George Michael - "Patience"
Real J. Wallace - "HashOilBluntFullOfKeef" digital single
Sea Of Trees - S/T
P.O.D. - "Satellite"
The Effigies - "Reside"
External Menace - "The Process of Elimination"
B.Watt ft. Nevonte Sparks - "JFK (Head Shot)" digital single
Foxmoulder/Coma Regalia - split 5"
My Former Self - 4-song promo CD
Bam Circa 86 - "Soufca Rising" digital single
Ten Grand/Meth and Goats - split 7"
Mr. Bungle - S/T
5/27/14
Youth Code - S/T
Secret Smoker - "Part Time Retail" digital single
Whirr - "Pipe Dreams"
External Menace - "Seize The Day" EP
Bastro - "Sing The Troubled Beast"
Nothing - "Guilty Of Everything"
The Coltranes - "I've Got Heaven In My Smile"
The Gravitys - "Nutrition (rough mixes)"
5/28/14
Rudimentary Peni - "Echoes of Anguish"
Joos - "Don't Smile" digital single
The Insect Surfers - "Infra Green" LP Version
Suzy's Dead - S/T EP
Michael Jackson - "Xscape"
Shad - "The Old Prince"
5/29/14
Helmet - "Unsung: The Best Of Helmet (1991-1997)"
5/30/14
Nayru - "Recollections"
Flowers Taped To Pens - "Nice To Meet You, I Hate You"
5/31/14
The Saddest Landscape - "Exit Wounded" EP
Gang Green - "Another Wasted Night"
60 Cycle Hum - "Don't Cast Your Spell On Me" EP
Adaje - "Yore Veils"
Ghost Noise - "This is the Next Part of Your Dream"
At The Drive-In - "Acrobatic Tenement"
Suis La Lune - "Riala"
Bur Gur - "Alligator Cheesecake"
Jurassic Shark - "Miracle" EP
Saves The Day - "Stay What You Are"
NOTES:
- Clitorati and The Two Tone Boners are both just as stupid as their names would imply
- Go Deep had their van and all their possessions stolen, including nearly an entire album's worth of recordings, while in the middle of the country on tour a few weeks ago; help them out if you have anything to donate: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/go-deep-we-were-robbed-in-chicago
- Favorite 'new finds' for this month: Bone Sickness, ele, Gates, Half Goon, New Gods, Holy Shit!, Pharmakon, So Much Light, bulldog eyes, Media Jeweler, Hard Girls, Pg. 99, Encyclopedia Of American Traitors, EmptySev, Youth Code, Bastro, Suis La Lune
- Worst of the month: Malditas Drogas, enjoiSka, Active Kissers, Golly Gee Whiz, Jay Levy, Pig DNA, Tzadikim Nistarim
- New releases from Skinfather, Circle Takes The Square, Crisis Arm, Zero Boys, Vices, Whirr, and Nothing all kick major ass
- "Breakfast In America" is so classic...Some old fat guy who got hired at my call center says he did some minor engineering on it back in the 70s which is badass if true but I don't see why it wouldn't be because he introduced the subject without him knowing that "Casual Conversations" has become an obsession of mine come lately...He said the saxophone parts were recorded in a bathroom
- Goddamn Pharmakon is brutal
- I'm not much into folk punk because much of it seems so unauthentic but in terms of musicality in that realm Robber's Roost is pretty legit. Similarly most surf music all the sounds exactly the same to me but The Insect Surfers really fucking wail; very very good guitar work on that album.
- The Crucifucks have really grown on me over the years, especially the second album "Wisconsin"
- Every time I listen to that Dogs Of Ire CD its as good as it was when I first was blown away by it...One of my favorite hardcore albums of the last 10 years for sure
-I almost never listen to multiple releases by the same artist in the same day but that happened with both Blood Orphans, Holy Shit! and The Freeze this month, the latter 2 both occurring on the 18th together....Not mention listening to those EPs by Go Deep and What Life Is multiple times...At least with the others they're different releases
- Dissension and Skate Death were both highly underrated...I have albums from both on a collection CD called "Hit Squad For God 2" and I'm surprised I can't really learn anything about either band because the music itself is really good, especially the Skate Death album..."My Parents Are Disappointed"
- What the hell ever happened to What Life Is???
- I can't wait to unveil the new Gravitys album to the world because that shit fucking kicks ass
- Listening to "The Hard & The Heavy" compilation after all these years really cemented home how godforsakenly terrible most of the metal music coming out in the late 90s was
- My copy of "Start Today" is scratched to shit
- You read that right: I listened to full-length albums from both George Michael and P.O.D. in the same day...I can't say I'm proud of every decision I've ever made let's just leave it at that
- External Menace sucks
- It's weird how all these up-and-coming rappers are trying to charge like $5 for a digital single...Like what world are they living in? How much are they used to paying for a full album?
- I never thought I would ever hear Rudimentary Peni sound as tame and boring as they do on that "Echoes Of Anguish" album...Some bands just don't benefit from increased sound production and man o man are they one of them
- The new Michael Jackson album is actually pretty alright; what sucks is that the song with the best groove happens to be about child abuse and I'm just thinking, was this really the wisest subject choice for you MJ?
- "Wilma's rainbow of peaceful colors; The richest drug dealer."
- Man the screeching tire vocals on that Nayru album are just way too much for me to take
- "Another Wasted Night. I've lost another friend."
- I didn't realize til reading about the album as I re-listened to it but "Acrobatic Tenement" has a different lineup than any of the other ATDI albums and Omar is actually playing bass not guitar...Say Whaaaaat
- Last time I checked out Jurassic Shark I actually listened to the wrong band that was mainly girls so when we played with them in Pomona a few months back I was all confused but apparently there are 2 Jurassic Sharks and the other one is from the East Coast.
SHOWS:
5/8/14 - The Coltranes/New Gods/Whip Hand/Half Goon @ The Dial
5/28/14 - Alone/Bur Gur/(end of the summer)/Suzy's Dead @ DBA256 Wine Bar
5/30/14 - La Bella/Kilgore Trout/Flowers Taped To Pens/Leechbath @ The Dial
5/31/14 - Abideer/Ghost Noise/(end of the summer)/60 Cycle Hum/Jurassic Shark @ The Dial
SHOW NOTES:
- I got a 15-minute interview with all 3 of the members from Ghost Noise after their set on the 31st; Transcription coming in like 5 months.
MOVIES:
5/8/14 - "We're The Millers"
5/16/14 - "Top Gun"
5/25/14 - "What Lies Beneath"
MOVIE NOTES:
- That was the first time I had ever seen "Top Gun," despite it being Mark Gravity's favorite movie and it constantly being played at his house
- "What Lies Beneath" is an alright movie but wasn't what I was hoping it would be like and goddamn it was long...But theres no denying Michelle Pfieffer's hotness
ZINES:
5/19/14 - KYEO Speaks 6 - Winter 2012
ZINE NOTES
- I made a list of all the artists named in KYEO 6 and have been slowing chipping away at listening to everything...Hence all the "skramz"
Monday, May 5, 2014
Playlist for April 2014
This is a list of all the albums, EPs, demos, singles, etc. that I listened to in their entirety during the month of April 2014. Afterwards is a list of the movies/zines/live performances I consumed as well and my notes regarding each.
MUSIC:
4/1/14
Violent Vickie - "Monster Alley"
Silver Shadows - S/T EP
4/2/14
Healers - S/T EP
Nocando - "Tits 'n Explosions" mixtape
Splintered Hands - "Datura" EP
Lilith - "Bloom" EP
Planet Vegeta - "Live From Planet Vegeta" EP
4/7/14
Funeral Oration - "Discography" Disc 1
4/8/14
Funeral Oration - "Discography" Disc 2
4/9/14
Bobby Meader Music - "My Coffee's All Cold"
Bogtrotters Union - "Call It What You Will" EP
Aeternum - "A Shrine To Abomination"
Harassor - "Hater of Man"
SodaPop - "Proust Love" digital single
DZA - "DZA Dog: Beattape Vol. 1"
Amigo The Devil - "Diggers" EP
4/10/14
Danger Inc. - S/T
Sterile Jets - "Barlights at 2am"
Restaurnaut - "FAHF2" EP
Thee Rain Cats - S/T EP
Fever The Ghost - "Crab in Honey" EP
4/11/14
1980sprince - "Modern Philosophy" EP
The Whiskey Circle - S/T
northamericans - "Increasing" EP
4/12/14
Funeral Oration - S/T
Lucky Dragons - "Widows"
Chrome Drones - "Demos: Pneumatic Life"
Lost City Angels - S/T
SiLM - "Listen Within"
The Chiefs - "Holly-West Crisis"
Half Shadow - "Wind Water Passion Daughter"
The Llamadors - "Broken String" digital single
The Naked Time - "Ferociously Adorable"
4/13/14
V/A - "Survival of the Fattest" Fat Wreck Chords promo compilation
4/14/14
Apex Realm - "Surf the Purpose" EP
end of the summer - "Three" EP/demo
Noa James - "The Orca" digital single
Stevie Crooks - "Cashmere Killer" mixtape
4/18/14
Fist Benders - "Quare Cunamor" EP
Ocean Man - "Something Worth Living For" EP
Kithkin - "Altered Beast" digital single
Foxfield - "Live at The Wire"
Braineater - S/T Demo
4/19/14
Fucking Invincible - "Very Negative" EP
Loma Prieta -"Last City"
Ghostlimb - "Confluence"
Moxiebeat - S/T EP
Left Astray - "Confines" EP
Bad Religion - "Suffer"
4/20/14
Parents - "Boxes of Armageddon" digital single
Fever Dream - "This Waste" digital single
3FT - "Set Sail" EP
Moonpool - "New Moon" demo
Andrew WK - "I Get Wet"
Ground Up - March 2008 demo
Bad Brains - "Rock For Light"
FF - S/T EP
Derek Rogers - "This House is a Block"
4/22/14
The B-52s - "Cosmic Thing"
Death - "...For The Whole World To See"
House Of Low Culture - "Submarine Immersion Techniques Vol. 1"
Cut Hands - "Madwoman" digital single
Godflesh - "Streetcleaner"
Trapped Within Burning Machinery/Pigeonwing - split EP
Cloud Rat - "Blind River"
4/23/14
Thou - "Heathen"
NASA Space Universe - "Yolanda's Rule" digital single
Cerebral Ballzy - "You're Idle" EP
OFF! - "Wasted Years"
Percee P + Miles Bonny - S/T digital single
starRo - "Look What You've Done To Me" digital single
Toy Light - "Afterlife"
DerBeats - "The One Who Knocks"
4/24/14
My Son The Birdman - "The Bamboo Bamboo" EP
Castle Pines - "Bless This House" EP
Damaged - "Disorder"
Emily Lacy - "Weatherbeaten Soul: Practice Sessions" EP
Nicole Kidman - "Aching/Nothing" EP
Stellaluna - "And The Mango Tree" EP
Whitman - "Dust Unsettled: Ten Years of Whitman"
end of the summer - "Three" EP/demo
Tool - "AEnima"
4/25/14
Trapdoor Social - "Death of a Friend" EP
Santoros - "Ancestros"
Whiskey Shivers - "Rampa Head"
The California Honeydrops - "People Get Ready" digital single
Old Rivals - S/T EP
Holly & The Italians - "The Right To Be Italian"
Heavy Justice - "Apocalyze"
4/26/14
The Battleship Agenda - "Sound the Sirens" EP
Cuddle Weather - "We Attract Computer Programmers" live demo single
Dictator - S/T EP
Haruka - "Far Away" EP
The Bloodhounds - "Hey Lonnie" digital single
Kevin Greenspon/Former Selves - "Betrayed By The Angels"/"Apropos of Golden Dreams" split LP
4/27/14
Tori Amos - "Scarlet's Walk"
4/28/14
Divided Heaven - "A Rival City"
Green Day - "American Idiot"
4/29/14
Terminal A/Sashcloth & Axes - split 7"
Mormon Crosses - 2014 Tour Demos
Rod Stewart - "Out of Order"
V/A - "Punk's Dead And It's Your Fault: An International Compilation" Bonus CD - 'covers'
4/30/14
Rat Path - "Mean Streets" EP
Colombian Necktie/Ruined Tongue - split 7"
He Whose Ox Is Gored - "Nightshade" EP
Headway - "Uproot" EP
Survay Says! - "Observations on the Human Condition"
Bleeding Rainbow - "Interrupt"
MUSIC NOTES:
- New Nocando mixtape is firrrrrre
- Favorite "new finds" of the month: Lilith, Aeternum, 1980sprince, SiLM, Apex Realm, Stevie Crooks, Moonpool, FF, Derek Rogers, House Of Low Culture, Godflesh, Thou, Percee P, Miles Bonny, Dictator, Former Selves, Mormon Crosses, Rat Path, Bleeding Rainbow
- I know I've listened to that Bobby Meader Music album before but I enjoyed it alot more this second time around...Very relate-able lyrics
- Danger Inc. and Heavy Justic are both awful, awful band names
- I've had either a Lagwagon song or a No Use For A Name song from that Fat Wreck compilation stuck in my head for like 3 weeks now
- I finally made a bandcamp page for end of the summer and posted my most recent EP/demo that KP recorded, "Three": check it out endofthesummer.bandcamp.com
- Worst of the month: Foxfield (trying too hard), Damaged (painfully generic)
- Finally got around to checking out that 1970s Death band; pretty cool stuff
- Holy shit House Of Low Culture is sooooo heavy and dense and the music actually sounds like its album title...dark submergence
- Believe it or not that was the very first time I ever listened to Godflesh, despite it being like the exact type of 'industrial' music that I love and despite their relative popularity; how did I miss out on this for so long?
- Same thing with Thou, how did I never hear them at all before this month? So well put together, so deep...so much
- I love NSU, don't get me wrong, but "Yolanda's Rule" is a pretty goddamn pointless song
- Check out Dictator from SD if you see they're playing a show; one of my new favorite locals
- Kevin Greenspon's music never fails to hit my heart
- That was my first time ever listening to Tori Amos and it was exactly like what I expected
- Every time I've heard Terminal A being on a show it's with Sashcloth & Axes so I guess its appropriate that they did a split together...I'm not too big on either one of them however so whatever
- Mormon Crosses RIYL The Coltranes, Culture Abuse, Weed, etc
- Rod Stewart sucks
- The new He Whose Ox Is Gored is what's up
- Survay Says! kicks ass and the new album is a good display of that
- That Bleeding Rainbow album very well be my favorite album by an artist I didn't know of from all of last month. Solid stuff.
LIVE PERFORMANCES:
4/3/14 - Apathean/Lilith @ The Dial
4/5/14 - Select Sex/(The Gravitys) @ The Dial
4/11/14 - ILL COM/Liquid/Tomber Lever/Happy In Hemet/Modern Traditions @ The Dial
4/19/14 - Loma Prieta/Fucking Invincible/Ghostlimb/Left Astray/Moxiebeat @ Bridgetown DIY
4/21/14 - Crisis Arm/FF/(The Gravitys)/Happy In Hemet/Moonpool @ The Dial
4/26/14 - Dictator/Ocean Man/Cuddle Weather/Obsolete Sun/(end of the summer) @ Temecula house show
4/27/14 - (end of the summer)/Restaurnaut/M A T H/File Island/Nicole Kidman/Stay Cool Forever @ Manny's apartment at UCR
LIVE NOTES:
- I'm gonna miss Apathean. Anybody who missed them perform on this first go-round really missed out. I'm hoping they come back sooner than later.
- We were supposed to open up that show on the 5th but I woke up from my nap later than I meant to and everybody was all pissed at me and then we fucked up like half of our set too, it wasn't good
- Modern Traditions is a very good new local band and you should check them out
- The show we played on the 21st was alot better than our show on the 5th but my amp was all screwy; coulda been better but at least we finally debuted some of our new songs
- JJ did abstract noise shit using his car as the instrument at that house show; It was odd but very unique and cool
- I was somehow the least drunk person at that apartment show and I played last
MOVIES:
4/6/14 - "Wedding Crashers"
4/20/14 - "Sarah Silverman: We Are Miracles"
MOVIE NOTES:
- "Usually, people who say they 'got thrown under the bus', say it a lot."
ZINES:
4/19/14 - "Cardio Arts: Incidents and Prophecies - Feb. 2014"
MUSIC:
4/1/14
Violent Vickie - "Monster Alley"
Silver Shadows - S/T EP
4/2/14
Healers - S/T EP
Nocando - "Tits 'n Explosions" mixtape
Splintered Hands - "Datura" EP
Lilith - "Bloom" EP
Planet Vegeta - "Live From Planet Vegeta" EP
4/7/14
Funeral Oration - "Discography" Disc 1
4/8/14
Funeral Oration - "Discography" Disc 2
4/9/14
Bobby Meader Music - "My Coffee's All Cold"
Bogtrotters Union - "Call It What You Will" EP
Aeternum - "A Shrine To Abomination"
Harassor - "Hater of Man"
SodaPop - "Proust Love" digital single
DZA - "DZA Dog: Beattape Vol. 1"
Amigo The Devil - "Diggers" EP
4/10/14
Danger Inc. - S/T
Sterile Jets - "Barlights at 2am"
Restaurnaut - "FAHF2" EP
Thee Rain Cats - S/T EP
Fever The Ghost - "Crab in Honey" EP
4/11/14
1980sprince - "Modern Philosophy" EP
The Whiskey Circle - S/T
northamericans - "Increasing" EP
4/12/14
Funeral Oration - S/T
Lucky Dragons - "Widows"
Chrome Drones - "Demos: Pneumatic Life"
Lost City Angels - S/T
SiLM - "Listen Within"
The Chiefs - "Holly-West Crisis"
Half Shadow - "Wind Water Passion Daughter"
The Llamadors - "Broken String" digital single
The Naked Time - "Ferociously Adorable"
4/13/14
V/A - "Survival of the Fattest" Fat Wreck Chords promo compilation
4/14/14
Apex Realm - "Surf the Purpose" EP
end of the summer - "Three" EP/demo
Noa James - "The Orca" digital single
Stevie Crooks - "Cashmere Killer" mixtape
4/18/14
Fist Benders - "Quare Cunamor" EP
Ocean Man - "Something Worth Living For" EP
Kithkin - "Altered Beast" digital single
Foxfield - "Live at The Wire"
Braineater - S/T Demo
4/19/14
Fucking Invincible - "Very Negative" EP
Loma Prieta -"Last City"
Ghostlimb - "Confluence"
Moxiebeat - S/T EP
Left Astray - "Confines" EP
Bad Religion - "Suffer"
4/20/14
Parents - "Boxes of Armageddon" digital single
Fever Dream - "This Waste" digital single
3FT - "Set Sail" EP
Moonpool - "New Moon" demo
Andrew WK - "I Get Wet"
Ground Up - March 2008 demo
Bad Brains - "Rock For Light"
FF - S/T EP
Derek Rogers - "This House is a Block"
4/22/14
The B-52s - "Cosmic Thing"
Death - "...For The Whole World To See"
House Of Low Culture - "Submarine Immersion Techniques Vol. 1"
Cut Hands - "Madwoman" digital single
Godflesh - "Streetcleaner"
Trapped Within Burning Machinery/Pigeonwing - split EP
Cloud Rat - "Blind River"
4/23/14
Thou - "Heathen"
NASA Space Universe - "Yolanda's Rule" digital single
Cerebral Ballzy - "You're Idle" EP
OFF! - "Wasted Years"
Percee P + Miles Bonny - S/T digital single
starRo - "Look What You've Done To Me" digital single
Toy Light - "Afterlife"
DerBeats - "The One Who Knocks"
4/24/14
My Son The Birdman - "The Bamboo Bamboo" EP
Castle Pines - "Bless This House" EP
Damaged - "Disorder"
Emily Lacy - "Weatherbeaten Soul: Practice Sessions" EP
Nicole Kidman - "Aching/Nothing" EP
Stellaluna - "And The Mango Tree" EP
Whitman - "Dust Unsettled: Ten Years of Whitman"
end of the summer - "Three" EP/demo
Tool - "AEnima"
4/25/14
Trapdoor Social - "Death of a Friend" EP
Santoros - "Ancestros"
Whiskey Shivers - "Rampa Head"
The California Honeydrops - "People Get Ready" digital single
Old Rivals - S/T EP
Holly & The Italians - "The Right To Be Italian"
Heavy Justice - "Apocalyze"
4/26/14
The Battleship Agenda - "Sound the Sirens" EP
Cuddle Weather - "We Attract Computer Programmers" live demo single
Dictator - S/T EP
Haruka - "Far Away" EP
The Bloodhounds - "Hey Lonnie" digital single
Kevin Greenspon/Former Selves - "Betrayed By The Angels"/"Apropos of Golden Dreams" split LP
4/27/14
Tori Amos - "Scarlet's Walk"
4/28/14
Divided Heaven - "A Rival City"
Green Day - "American Idiot"
4/29/14
Terminal A/Sashcloth & Axes - split 7"
Mormon Crosses - 2014 Tour Demos
Rod Stewart - "Out of Order"
V/A - "Punk's Dead And It's Your Fault: An International Compilation" Bonus CD - 'covers'
4/30/14
Rat Path - "Mean Streets" EP
Colombian Necktie/Ruined Tongue - split 7"
He Whose Ox Is Gored - "Nightshade" EP
Headway - "Uproot" EP
Survay Says! - "Observations on the Human Condition"
Bleeding Rainbow - "Interrupt"
MUSIC NOTES:
- New Nocando mixtape is firrrrrre
- Favorite "new finds" of the month: Lilith, Aeternum, 1980sprince, SiLM, Apex Realm, Stevie Crooks, Moonpool, FF, Derek Rogers, House Of Low Culture, Godflesh, Thou, Percee P, Miles Bonny, Dictator, Former Selves, Mormon Crosses, Rat Path, Bleeding Rainbow
- I know I've listened to that Bobby Meader Music album before but I enjoyed it alot more this second time around...Very relate-able lyrics
- Danger Inc. and Heavy Justic are both awful, awful band names
- I've had either a Lagwagon song or a No Use For A Name song from that Fat Wreck compilation stuck in my head for like 3 weeks now
- I finally made a bandcamp page for end of the summer and posted my most recent EP/demo that KP recorded, "Three": check it out endofthesummer.bandcamp.com
- Worst of the month: Foxfield (trying too hard), Damaged (painfully generic)
- Finally got around to checking out that 1970s Death band; pretty cool stuff
- Holy shit House Of Low Culture is sooooo heavy and dense and the music actually sounds like its album title...dark submergence
- Believe it or not that was the very first time I ever listened to Godflesh, despite it being like the exact type of 'industrial' music that I love and despite their relative popularity; how did I miss out on this for so long?
- Same thing with Thou, how did I never hear them at all before this month? So well put together, so deep...so much
- I love NSU, don't get me wrong, but "Yolanda's Rule" is a pretty goddamn pointless song
- Check out Dictator from SD if you see they're playing a show; one of my new favorite locals
- Kevin Greenspon's music never fails to hit my heart
- That was my first time ever listening to Tori Amos and it was exactly like what I expected
- Every time I've heard Terminal A being on a show it's with Sashcloth & Axes so I guess its appropriate that they did a split together...I'm not too big on either one of them however so whatever
- Mormon Crosses RIYL The Coltranes, Culture Abuse, Weed, etc
- Rod Stewart sucks
- The new He Whose Ox Is Gored is what's up
- Survay Says! kicks ass and the new album is a good display of that
- That Bleeding Rainbow album very well be my favorite album by an artist I didn't know of from all of last month. Solid stuff.
LIVE PERFORMANCES:
4/3/14 - Apathean/Lilith @ The Dial
4/5/14 - Select Sex/(The Gravitys) @ The Dial
4/11/14 - ILL COM/Liquid/Tomber Lever/Happy In Hemet/Modern Traditions @ The Dial
4/19/14 - Loma Prieta/Fucking Invincible/Ghostlimb/Left Astray/Moxiebeat @ Bridgetown DIY
4/21/14 - Crisis Arm/FF/(The Gravitys)/Happy In Hemet/Moonpool @ The Dial
4/26/14 - Dictator/Ocean Man/Cuddle Weather/Obsolete Sun/(end of the summer) @ Temecula house show
4/27/14 - (end of the summer)/Restaurnaut/M A T H/File Island/Nicole Kidman/Stay Cool Forever @ Manny's apartment at UCR
LIVE NOTES:
- I'm gonna miss Apathean. Anybody who missed them perform on this first go-round really missed out. I'm hoping they come back sooner than later.
- We were supposed to open up that show on the 5th but I woke up from my nap later than I meant to and everybody was all pissed at me and then we fucked up like half of our set too, it wasn't good
- Modern Traditions is a very good new local band and you should check them out
- The show we played on the 21st was alot better than our show on the 5th but my amp was all screwy; coulda been better but at least we finally debuted some of our new songs
- JJ did abstract noise shit using his car as the instrument at that house show; It was odd but very unique and cool
- I was somehow the least drunk person at that apartment show and I played last
MOVIES:
4/6/14 - "Wedding Crashers"
4/20/14 - "Sarah Silverman: We Are Miracles"
MOVIE NOTES:
- "Usually, people who say they 'got thrown under the bus', say it a lot."
ZINES:
4/19/14 - "Cardio Arts: Incidents and Prophecies - Feb. 2014"
Friday, May 2, 2014
EXPERIENCE REVIEW: Enrollment In The Riverside County Work Release Program
This tale begins in late November 2012:
As part of my sentencing I was given 21 days of work release. If all had gone to plan those days would have been finished by the following April but due to my constant fuckery I ended up having to re-enroll several times, thus prolonging an already wearisome element of my penalty throughout nearly all of 2013.
My first go-round I forgot to bring my contract to the first day of service, which is grounds for termination. Then when I went to get re-enrolled I gave the cop lady an expired ID card so I had to go to the DMV and wait 6 to 8 weeks for the replacement to arrive. By the time I actually began my work days it was basically the time of year I originally should have been finishing up.
The first work site I was placed at was Southwest Detention Center, sorting and folding prisoner laundry for a day a week from April through July. It was tedious and occasionally gross but not as bad as serving real time. Nearly everybody in the program at some point or another also justifies things by saying "hey at least we're not picking up trash off the side of the road!" although I don't really understand how that would be objectively worse than handling used prison clothes.
My final day at that site was the 4th of July, which was an odd exercise in patriotic irony: unpaid prison labor says a lot about what America stands for after all.The supervisor cops were barbecuing on the loading dock and clearly wanted to get out of there as well because we were unprecedentedly allowed to leave early that day, around noon. One of the other guys I was working with was a weed dealer so we went and smoked a few bowls at the Carl's Jr. nearby Southwest after we got out.
The next week I woke up late and as soon as I saw the clock I realized that I was gonna be marked absent, and an absence equals a termination. Back to the enrollment lobby it was.
The next site I got assigned to was the Murrieta Police Department, where the 'labor' was even easier than the laundry I had been doing at the jail. Basically they tasked myself and another dude to wash 6 cop cars in 8 hours; even if I had been alone and working as lazily as I possibly could, that amount of work in that amount of time necessitated a large amount of downtime. During our many extended breaks I read the entire "Feral Faun" collection zine, which in its way also held a strange social irony much like Independence Day at the jail did: I would assume that most progressive anarchist manifestos were not written with the intention of them being read inside a police station in-between car washes.
Unfortunately I (once again) woke up late just the very next week so after only one day at the cop carwash I was (once again) terminated from the work release program. By then I only had 3 or 4 more days left to complete, I just wanted to get it over with, so I went back to the jailhouse the next day to (once again) put myself back in the system.
The building that houses the WRP processing office is the same one that non-criminal people go to when they want to visit their incarcerated family members or to put money on their books. I addressed the plexiglass-guarded officer at the front desk and he told me to sign the clipboard and take a seat, which I did. Across from where I sat was a woman who kept a fixed stare at the wall above my head and a lawyer who somehow looked like a priest. A younger cop from the back called out my name and I came to his office to give him my ID and enrollment sheet. He told me to go sit back down while he processed me.
When I went back out to the lobby, the priest-lawyer was at the glass-window-desk asking to put $20 on his client's books and saying he would greatly like to discuss their case as soon as possible.The cop looked the inmate up in their database and said something to the effect of "something is going on in his pod. It might be awhile." In my head I imagined a fight over Ramen. The inmate's representative went back to his seat.
Presumably having overheard that exchange just as I had, the woman with the fixed stare stood up and went to the desk. "I've been waiting here for over an hour!" to which the officer replied, "It's a process." She sighed heavily, tensely ran her hand through her hair from her forehead back, and walked outside.
The work release officer came back out to the lobby.
"Ian?"
I stood up and went with him again to sign the conditions of my new program. This time they had assigned me to the Lake Skinner location, which I had heard from other ne'erdowells in the WRP shuffle was the easiest of all locations. A few people told me I could probably even blaze there while "serving my time" because the supervisors are so lax.
My visit had taken less than 10 minutes.With my new contract in hand I passed by all the nervously waiting people in the lobby, past all the innocents being reprimanded by administrative officers for asking questions.
I sat on the bench outside of the jailhouse and called for a ride home. While I was waiting, I noticed the woman with the fixed stare pacing back and forth a few meters ahead, near the palm trees that decorate the Riverside Superior Court's exterior. Her arms were firmly crossed and her stare was still fixed, only downwards now.
Maybe 2 minutes after I sat down, a mother with 2 small children swiftly pushed the lobby door open and stormed out. Without stopping as she passed, she told the pacing woman, "we've been here for 4 hours. They said something's going on ''in the pods,' I don't know what's going on, but we won't get to see them today." Her voice was a mixture of frustration, disappointment, and sad disbelief. Other people who had been in there began walking out behind the mother, each carrying similar countenances, presumably having spent the majority of their day in that unaccomodating brick-and-plexiglass waiting chamber only to be sternly told that it was all for naught and there was nothing anyone could do about it.
The pacing woman continued her measure after everyone had passed her by, her arms still crossed and her gaze still downward. Every now and again she would kick the bulbs that fall onto the concrete from the palm trees, each kick delivered with less and less vigor. She didn't want to believe what the mother had told her. Eventually she did turn towards the parking lot and walked back to her car, still staring down. Before she opened the door she stopped to take off her glasses and wipe her eyes.
I was the only person remaining outside the jail lobby at this point, until a minivan parked and a clearly-frazzled woman unloaded several small children, herding them towards the building. It was an obvious ordeal for her to corral them, these children who will not understand why they still can't see their brother or father or whoever it is that they never get to see, even now that they're here where he is.
A part of me wanted to tell her before she made it all the way to the door that the effort was useless, that she wouldn't get to see her loved ones today because they were busy making further problems for themselves here in their place of punishment; but then I realized, who am I to tell her that?
I'm barely beyond the bars myself, I'm just some derelict of unknown offense, a criminal sitting shiftily outside the entrance to the jail.
I came here and was dealt with immediately because I am amongst the guilty. Who am I to tell her that she came here for no reason, that she wasted her and her children's time and hope; that there is no function or utility the authorities within that building can possibly provide to a well-wishing non-offender at the present time?
That's for the cops to tell her.
She shuffled her family into the lobby and soon after my ride pulled up to the curb.
"I can't wait until you're done with all this crap, son," Dad said to me while keeping a fixed stare over the steering wheel. "I really hate being here."
As part of my sentencing I was given 21 days of work release. If all had gone to plan those days would have been finished by the following April but due to my constant fuckery I ended up having to re-enroll several times, thus prolonging an already wearisome element of my penalty throughout nearly all of 2013.
My first go-round I forgot to bring my contract to the first day of service, which is grounds for termination. Then when I went to get re-enrolled I gave the cop lady an expired ID card so I had to go to the DMV and wait 6 to 8 weeks for the replacement to arrive. By the time I actually began my work days it was basically the time of year I originally should have been finishing up.
The first work site I was placed at was Southwest Detention Center, sorting and folding prisoner laundry for a day a week from April through July. It was tedious and occasionally gross but not as bad as serving real time. Nearly everybody in the program at some point or another also justifies things by saying "hey at least we're not picking up trash off the side of the road!" although I don't really understand how that would be objectively worse than handling used prison clothes.
My final day at that site was the 4th of July, which was an odd exercise in patriotic irony: unpaid prison labor says a lot about what America stands for after all.The supervisor cops were barbecuing on the loading dock and clearly wanted to get out of there as well because we were unprecedentedly allowed to leave early that day, around noon. One of the other guys I was working with was a weed dealer so we went and smoked a few bowls at the Carl's Jr. nearby Southwest after we got out.
The next week I woke up late and as soon as I saw the clock I realized that I was gonna be marked absent, and an absence equals a termination. Back to the enrollment lobby it was.
The next site I got assigned to was the Murrieta Police Department, where the 'labor' was even easier than the laundry I had been doing at the jail. Basically they tasked myself and another dude to wash 6 cop cars in 8 hours; even if I had been alone and working as lazily as I possibly could, that amount of work in that amount of time necessitated a large amount of downtime. During our many extended breaks I read the entire "Feral Faun" collection zine, which in its way also held a strange social irony much like Independence Day at the jail did: I would assume that most progressive anarchist manifestos were not written with the intention of them being read inside a police station in-between car washes.
Unfortunately I (once again) woke up late just the very next week so after only one day at the cop carwash I was (once again) terminated from the work release program. By then I only had 3 or 4 more days left to complete, I just wanted to get it over with, so I went back to the jailhouse the next day to (once again) put myself back in the system.
The building that houses the WRP processing office is the same one that non-criminal people go to when they want to visit their incarcerated family members or to put money on their books. I addressed the plexiglass-guarded officer at the front desk and he told me to sign the clipboard and take a seat, which I did. Across from where I sat was a woman who kept a fixed stare at the wall above my head and a lawyer who somehow looked like a priest. A younger cop from the back called out my name and I came to his office to give him my ID and enrollment sheet. He told me to go sit back down while he processed me.
When I went back out to the lobby, the priest-lawyer was at the glass-window-desk asking to put $20 on his client's books and saying he would greatly like to discuss their case as soon as possible.The cop looked the inmate up in their database and said something to the effect of "something is going on in his pod. It might be awhile." In my head I imagined a fight over Ramen. The inmate's representative went back to his seat.
Presumably having overheard that exchange just as I had, the woman with the fixed stare stood up and went to the desk. "I've been waiting here for over an hour!" to which the officer replied, "It's a process." She sighed heavily, tensely ran her hand through her hair from her forehead back, and walked outside.
The work release officer came back out to the lobby.
"Ian?"
I stood up and went with him again to sign the conditions of my new program. This time they had assigned me to the Lake Skinner location, which I had heard from other ne'erdowells in the WRP shuffle was the easiest of all locations. A few people told me I could probably even blaze there while "serving my time" because the supervisors are so lax.
My visit had taken less than 10 minutes.With my new contract in hand I passed by all the nervously waiting people in the lobby, past all the innocents being reprimanded by administrative officers for asking questions.
I sat on the bench outside of the jailhouse and called for a ride home. While I was waiting, I noticed the woman with the fixed stare pacing back and forth a few meters ahead, near the palm trees that decorate the Riverside Superior Court's exterior. Her arms were firmly crossed and her stare was still fixed, only downwards now.
Maybe 2 minutes after I sat down, a mother with 2 small children swiftly pushed the lobby door open and stormed out. Without stopping as she passed, she told the pacing woman, "we've been here for 4 hours. They said something's going on ''in the pods,' I don't know what's going on, but we won't get to see them today." Her voice was a mixture of frustration, disappointment, and sad disbelief. Other people who had been in there began walking out behind the mother, each carrying similar countenances, presumably having spent the majority of their day in that unaccomodating brick-and-plexiglass waiting chamber only to be sternly told that it was all for naught and there was nothing anyone could do about it.
The pacing woman continued her measure after everyone had passed her by, her arms still crossed and her gaze still downward. Every now and again she would kick the bulbs that fall onto the concrete from the palm trees, each kick delivered with less and less vigor. She didn't want to believe what the mother had told her. Eventually she did turn towards the parking lot and walked back to her car, still staring down. Before she opened the door she stopped to take off her glasses and wipe her eyes.
I was the only person remaining outside the jail lobby at this point, until a minivan parked and a clearly-frazzled woman unloaded several small children, herding them towards the building. It was an obvious ordeal for her to corral them, these children who will not understand why they still can't see their brother or father or whoever it is that they never get to see, even now that they're here where he is.
A part of me wanted to tell her before she made it all the way to the door that the effort was useless, that she wouldn't get to see her loved ones today because they were busy making further problems for themselves here in their place of punishment; but then I realized, who am I to tell her that?
I'm barely beyond the bars myself, I'm just some derelict of unknown offense, a criminal sitting shiftily outside the entrance to the jail.
I came here and was dealt with immediately because I am amongst the guilty. Who am I to tell her that she came here for no reason, that she wasted her and her children's time and hope; that there is no function or utility the authorities within that building can possibly provide to a well-wishing non-offender at the present time?
That's for the cops to tell her.
She shuffled her family into the lobby and soon after my ride pulled up to the curb.
"I can't wait until you're done with all this crap, son," Dad said to me while keeping a fixed stare over the steering wheel. "I really hate being here."
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Limited Connectivity / NO JUNK : Thoughts on Acrobatics Everyday, circa Thanksgiving 2012.
- as published in the Acrobatics Everyday retrospective zine.
Don't forget your roots. Don't stop tilling. Drive safely.
Limited Connectivity
I cannot find a signal.
This device is heavy and useless,
Emitting nothing but lights and sounds.
I have very limited connectivity;
I can never seem to enter the network successfully.
There’s no signal.
- September 2008. Beginning of 3rd year
I felt very alone for most of my time in college. My high school girlfriend broke up with me about a month after I started commuting from Temecula to Irvine every day, and then I had my driving privileges taken away a few months later. It was too late to move into the dorms and make friends like a normal freshman scrub so I did what I could as fast as I could and moved into an apartment in Parkwest with some 5th-year weirdos who played Warcraft all day and never had people over. It was very isolating and strange, and on a whole I found it difficult to find any sense of belonging or anybody I really identified with at UC Irvine. I remember being in a lab session early on and when I threw out a Ramones reference thinking everyone would get it, even after I explained it I learned half the group wasn’t familiar with who the Ramones were. The fucking Ramones. How was I supposed to work with that?
For that first year especially, I had to come back home to Temecula most every weekend to deal with court stuffs so I remained involved with the hardcore and punk scene I had grown up with. Between house shows, barn shows, warehouse shows, and even coffee-shop throwdowns, I became accustomed to a ‘by-the-kids, for-the-kids’ way of going about things. It was either that or grovel for pay-to-play places out of town, which makes absolutely no sense, and it generate at least the semblance of some kind of community. Unfortunately, as it the case with hardcore scenes throughout its history, violence at shows and a general unwillingness to accept bands who played different styles – even different styles of hardcore – became a limiting factor to that communal feeling. I began to feel like, as much as I had grown up with this music and this scene, there was something I just wasn’t getting anymore from this sector. This was at the apex of the "deathcore" fad’s popularity and creativity within the scene felt to be imploding. There was no room to experiment or to grow; maybe that’s why not even 2 years after the hurrah half the people in bands had become more involved in hip hop than hardcore.
Second year at UC Irvine was a bit different. My roommates were laid back and actually interested in this whiteboy rocknroll stuff I was so into. I started bringing my acoustic guitar to Irvine and writing songs again. My friend Nikki exposed me to the wonders of 80’s heavy metal. But most importantly, I got connected with KUCI. That was the gateway. During second semester I did the internship class in hopes of landing myself a show of my own and was immediately impressed by the overall ethos of the station. No commercials and no commercial music. Styles of all sorts being represented by people who really care about the music. It was beautiful and it was something I had no idea was there on campus. On my first tour of the studio itself, someone was playing an album of acoustic Crass cover songs. It was exactly what I was looking for.
That same semester was the Dan Deacon show. I distinctly remember seeing the rainbow-colored poster along the walls of Ring Road, not recognizing any of the groups listed, but noticing the "presented by KUCI" slogan at the bottom. I gave it a shot. It was being held in the biggest two rooms of the Student Center, the place where I worked throughout college, and from my experiences there setting up drab business conferences and pointless student group meetings it felt like a refreshing use of space. That’s a subject I’ll return to later, but watching Abe Vigoda play where the American Cancer Association had held their annual banquet just a few days before was certainly a welcome change.
The main feeling I got from that show, which turned out to be Acrobatics Everyday’s first, was one of being flabbergasted. Watching Lucky Dragons run around the room, spazzing out with bizarre electronic contraptions; Narwahlz (of Sound) with more digital noise-manipulation the likes of which I had never really been exposed to; the inexplicable Schwarzeneggar-apocalypse video montage that accompanied Ultimate Reality’s dual-drummer drone – I straight up did not know what to make of this. I had always thought that hardcore and death metal and even like shoegaze indie was so "alternative" (whatever that’s really supposed to mean); but this was all so far removed from the structure and set-up of traditional "band" music that it kind of turned my perceptions on their head.
Although I went to a Destroy Tokyo/Zipzoom/Sprawl Out show in the interim, the next event that really sealed my interest and affinity with Acrobatics Everyday was at the beginning of third year, when Ian MacKaye came hold a QnA with all of us. Unlike the Dan Deacon show, which I came into spontaneously, this was something that I totally related to and frankly could not believe was happening. For some reason I didn’t think the sterile UCI population would bring out a crowd even considering MacKaye’s iconic place in underground history; I was wrong. The Humanities Building was teeming with kids and the lecture hall eventually got so filled up that people were strewn along the stairs, covering the stage, or finding standing space in the back like myself. Some of the questions people asked were kinda ridiculous, like the guy who asked "how much it would take" for Minor Threat to reunite at his festival. But for the most part it was beyond my hopes, getting to hear this person I had grown up kind-of idolizing speak on a multitude of subjects, it was like middle-school me’s dream come true. I was wearing my homemade Faith shirt (whatever happened to that??) and before he took my question, Ian MacKaye told me, "nice shirt." Some things you just never forget.
I next saw the Acrobatics people on election night 2008. We watched John McCain and Barack Obama give their respective speeches from the dining room of the Phoenix Grill and then we watched White Fang and Gowns play on the other side of the restaurant. It was this kind of alternative use of campus space that really made me love what Acrobatics was all about; it always seemed that all these rooms around campus were going to waste! Having shows is exactly what I would have done too; I just don’t know how to do it. Suddenly places around campus had ongoing meaning to me where there used to be nothing: Big Whup played in the arts department and made all those stone slabs make sense; I headbanged to Robedoor in the Engineering Hall; the dude from Negativland signed my dollar bill outside one of those newer Technology halls that I never had class in; a single police officer on a bike ended the A.M. show on the roof of the Social Science Parking Structure. The Cross Cultural Center all the sudden became a kind of home. Emperor X and Rare Grooves played in a goddamn 24-hour post office. Shit was real.
In the last couple years of college I started going to as many AE shows as I could possibly attend. More than half of the time I had never heard of any of the performers, and truth be told there more than a handful that I thought were pure rubbish. But I also learned about performers like The Shaky Hands, Tera Melos, Times New Viking, Baby Birds Don’t Drink Milk, Kevin Greenspon, The Box Elders, Weed Diamond, Professor Calculus, Little Teeth, and so many more that I still listen to today. I had my mind completely blown by High Places and Mount Eerie and Yoshitake Expe. I met Brent from Trudgers when they opened up for Dom and now we’re straight up homies.
Speaking of homies, although I never got too deep into the circle, the people who put on shows with AE are some of my favorite people from my time in college. Welcoming without being overbearing, you guys made me feel at home and let me be myself. It was probably clear from my Job For A Cowboy shirt that I wasn’t really of the ‘hipster’ scene (sorry, had to generalize you somehow) but I never felt judged or out of the circle or un-hip. I never got weird vibes from you if I decided I wanted to lose my shit during Ponytail or do a quick shimmy during Mahjongg.
I was exposed to so many new forms of art through those shows that, looking back, I feel like it was one of the primary things that helped me grow as a person during those years. Obviously, the life lessons of living with strangers for the first time, the new perspectives I gained from international friends over the years, the things I learned in the classes I am still paying for - these are crucial additions to my personality and character as well. But the expansion of my musical palette that was due in large part to my internship at KUCI and all the shows that Acrobatics Everyday put on is indispensible to me. You guys made UC Irvine feel a bit less like a cold, rigid place without a semblance of what makes me tick, without the ‘counterculture’ fashion and passion and the stupid rock n roll bullshit that makes me real. I felt at home with you guys.
After I graduated in the summer of 2010 and moved back home, it became a bit more difficult to come to shows. I guess I had taken it for granted that this amazing collective was operating within walking distance from where I was living; when I didn’t live there anymore I immediately missed it. I trekked up to Irvine a few times to catch some shows but I just couldn’t come see every obscure noise act that rolled through anymore. The final few things I went to were larger events that I don’t know how Sam threw together but were notable enough that I made a point to make it out there.
Jandek played his very first show in Southern California after a 20+ recording and touring career at the Crystal Cove Auditorium, and although I wasn’t familiar with his bizarre work beforehand I knew this was not one to be missed. Performing with another one of my childhood punk-rock heroes, Mike Watt, didn’t hurt either. That was a bizarre experience, nearly an hour and a half of uninterrupted madness, like a creeping fever nightmare made into sound. At times it was unclear if he knew how to play guitar whatsoever, like he was just making it up as he went although they did FEEL like orchestrations. It was strange; it was a cacophony that was something entirely unique, like no other performance I have ever seen. My Student Center friends were working sound and lights in the A/V booth above the auditorium an after the show they confronted me: "What the hell WAS that, man???" I didn’t really know how to answer them. Before I left to drive home I managed to get a picture with Mike Watt, a picture of Jandek smiling, and overhear somebody ruin part of the movie "The Black Swan" before I had seen it.
A few weeks later was the QnA with Andrew WK, making the last 2 real Acrobatics events I went to somewhat paralleled to the first 2: a bizarre showcase of music I have yet to wrap my head around followed by a QnA session by a well-known figure in the rock world who I was a big fan of in middle school. This event had none of the stoic, awe-inspiring self-importance of the Ian MacKaye session however; many of the questions revolved around dinosaur preferences and general party advice. He sang a song about Acrobatics Everyday with a shoe on his head and gave out prizes for random shit. It was just that kind of night.
Looking back, there are several legitimate questions that I could have asked. "How did you meet up with the drummer from Obituary?" "Is ‘Don’t Stop Living In the Red’ a celebration of debt?" …those are inquiries that might spark conversation, or at least make sense in the context of the night. But no, I went a different route.
"Do you think the Empire would have survived if R2 hadn’t stopped the trash compactor??"
Yes, I asked Andrew WK about "Star Wars" and to be completely honest I still don’t feel like I got a straight answer out of that bastard. As soon as I said it, I could hear the collective groan in the room. Nobody wanted to answer me. Is there some shit I don’t know?? All I can say is that as much as he wails on the keyboard, Andrew WK sure knows how to evade a question.
The very last time I came to Irvine for an AE event was last summer, for the second annual No Junk picnic/swap meet/acoustic show there in the park. I was actually scheduled to play an acoustic set, my first time participating in a show with y’all, so I kinda rushed my friends who came along with me. When we got to the park we realized the nature of the event and started kicking ourselved for not bringing stuff to trade. My garage is FULL of junk. Ryan bought a little drum pad from Mr. Farzin as an impulse buy like IMMEDIATELY as we got there but other than that we just looked at everybody’s goods wishing that we had barter-ables ourselves. I played a short set of end of the summer songs and handed out a bunch of CD-R demos of my then-just-starting band The Gravitys. Dash Jacket kept dropping their guitar picks; I chatted with the dude from Avi Buffalo and he gave me one of his new demos. We all had a nice little time hanging out together in the park, barbecueing and playing Frisbee and just big lok’ing in the summer sun. That’s what life is all about right there.
In the last year and a half since I’ve been to an AE event, DIY music and art had continued to play a major role in my life and I often relate new happenings to stuff that I experienced at those eye-opening college shows. As I mentioned I’ve been playing in a local band and it’s been a goal of ours since day one to play any and all locations that we get asked to play. Performing at bars or traditional venues is cool and all, but there is a whole ‘nother level of fun to playing at a pizza place or a skate park or a specialty gaming shop. These space aren’t being used to their max potential; let’s set up a show there!!
Facilitating that approach as well is a group I’ve been lucky enough to see grow into a real community this last summer, The Dial down here in Temecula/Murrieta. A welcoming, open-minded, adventurous group of people who melt the raw approach and aesthetic I’m used to from hardcore with a rounded, inclusive artistic scope that has grown more important to me as I’ve grown older myself, it’s been a blessing for the boring suburban area we live in down here just the way that Acrobatics was for the monotonous world that is UCI. I am constantly referring to you guys when making suggestions for new artists to invite, modes of operation, etc. You guys made it clear to me that doing things on the underground level and with a pretty much non-existent budget didn’t have to confine you to local punk shows exclusively; I hate to sound cheesy, but you helped me see that there really is a whole wide world of possibilities out there. It’s just a matter of reaching out.
So there it is. It’s been a year and a half since I’ve seen you all but the significance is still there with me. It’s crazy to think that its already been 5 years since that initial show; time really does fly. The loneliness and isolation and disconnect that I talked about at the beginning of this rambling ramble, I still feel that in a lot of ways. That’s just part of who I am; its’ just difficult for me to create meaningful connections in this world. But Acrobatics Everyday was something that helped me break out of my shell when I really needed that and you helped me grow. I know it’s cool to be detached and ironic or whatever these days, but I’m gonna come right out and say it: Thank you for everything. I love you guys.
Rock n roll will never die. \_/
Don't forget your roots. Don't stop tilling. Drive safely.
Limited Connectivity
I cannot find a signal.
This device is heavy and useless,
Emitting nothing but lights and sounds.
I have very limited connectivity;
I can never seem to enter the network successfully.
There’s no signal.
I felt very alone for most of my time in college. My high school girlfriend broke up with me about a month after I started commuting from Temecula to Irvine every day, and then I had my driving privileges taken away a few months later. It was too late to move into the dorms and make friends like a normal freshman scrub so I did what I could as fast as I could and moved into an apartment in Parkwest with some 5th-year weirdos who played Warcraft all day and never had people over. It was very isolating and strange, and on a whole I found it difficult to find any sense of belonging or anybody I really identified with at UC Irvine. I remember being in a lab session early on and when I threw out a Ramones reference thinking everyone would get it, even after I explained it I learned half the group wasn’t familiar with who the Ramones were. The fucking Ramones. How was I supposed to work with that?
For that first year especially, I had to come back home to Temecula most every weekend to deal with court stuffs so I remained involved with the hardcore and punk scene I had grown up with. Between house shows, barn shows, warehouse shows, and even coffee-shop throwdowns, I became accustomed to a ‘by-the-kids, for-the-kids’ way of going about things. It was either that or grovel for pay-to-play places out of town, which makes absolutely no sense, and it generate at least the semblance of some kind of community. Unfortunately, as it the case with hardcore scenes throughout its history, violence at shows and a general unwillingness to accept bands who played different styles – even different styles of hardcore – became a limiting factor to that communal feeling. I began to feel like, as much as I had grown up with this music and this scene, there was something I just wasn’t getting anymore from this sector. This was at the apex of the "deathcore" fad’s popularity and creativity within the scene felt to be imploding. There was no room to experiment or to grow; maybe that’s why not even 2 years after the hurrah half the people in bands had become more involved in hip hop than hardcore.
Second year at UC Irvine was a bit different. My roommates were laid back and actually interested in this whiteboy rocknroll stuff I was so into. I started bringing my acoustic guitar to Irvine and writing songs again. My friend Nikki exposed me to the wonders of 80’s heavy metal. But most importantly, I got connected with KUCI. That was the gateway. During second semester I did the internship class in hopes of landing myself a show of my own and was immediately impressed by the overall ethos of the station. No commercials and no commercial music. Styles of all sorts being represented by people who really care about the music. It was beautiful and it was something I had no idea was there on campus. On my first tour of the studio itself, someone was playing an album of acoustic Crass cover songs. It was exactly what I was looking for.
That same semester was the Dan Deacon show. I distinctly remember seeing the rainbow-colored poster along the walls of Ring Road, not recognizing any of the groups listed, but noticing the "presented by KUCI" slogan at the bottom. I gave it a shot. It was being held in the biggest two rooms of the Student Center, the place where I worked throughout college, and from my experiences there setting up drab business conferences and pointless student group meetings it felt like a refreshing use of space. That’s a subject I’ll return to later, but watching Abe Vigoda play where the American Cancer Association had held their annual banquet just a few days before was certainly a welcome change.
The main feeling I got from that show, which turned out to be Acrobatics Everyday’s first, was one of being flabbergasted. Watching Lucky Dragons run around the room, spazzing out with bizarre electronic contraptions; Narwahlz (of Sound) with more digital noise-manipulation the likes of which I had never really been exposed to; the inexplicable Schwarzeneggar-apocalypse video montage that accompanied Ultimate Reality’s dual-drummer drone – I straight up did not know what to make of this. I had always thought that hardcore and death metal and even like shoegaze indie was so "alternative" (whatever that’s really supposed to mean); but this was all so far removed from the structure and set-up of traditional "band" music that it kind of turned my perceptions on their head.
Although I went to a Destroy Tokyo/Zipzoom/Sprawl Out show in the interim, the next event that really sealed my interest and affinity with Acrobatics Everyday was at the beginning of third year, when Ian MacKaye came hold a QnA with all of us. Unlike the Dan Deacon show, which I came into spontaneously, this was something that I totally related to and frankly could not believe was happening. For some reason I didn’t think the sterile UCI population would bring out a crowd even considering MacKaye’s iconic place in underground history; I was wrong. The Humanities Building was teeming with kids and the lecture hall eventually got so filled up that people were strewn along the stairs, covering the stage, or finding standing space in the back like myself. Some of the questions people asked were kinda ridiculous, like the guy who asked "how much it would take" for Minor Threat to reunite at his festival. But for the most part it was beyond my hopes, getting to hear this person I had grown up kind-of idolizing speak on a multitude of subjects, it was like middle-school me’s dream come true. I was wearing my homemade Faith shirt (whatever happened to that??) and before he took my question, Ian MacKaye told me, "nice shirt." Some things you just never forget.
I next saw the Acrobatics people on election night 2008. We watched John McCain and Barack Obama give their respective speeches from the dining room of the Phoenix Grill and then we watched White Fang and Gowns play on the other side of the restaurant. It was this kind of alternative use of campus space that really made me love what Acrobatics was all about; it always seemed that all these rooms around campus were going to waste! Having shows is exactly what I would have done too; I just don’t know how to do it. Suddenly places around campus had ongoing meaning to me where there used to be nothing: Big Whup played in the arts department and made all those stone slabs make sense; I headbanged to Robedoor in the Engineering Hall; the dude from Negativland signed my dollar bill outside one of those newer Technology halls that I never had class in; a single police officer on a bike ended the A.M. show on the roof of the Social Science Parking Structure. The Cross Cultural Center all the sudden became a kind of home. Emperor X and Rare Grooves played in a goddamn 24-hour post office. Shit was real.
In the last couple years of college I started going to as many AE shows as I could possibly attend. More than half of the time I had never heard of any of the performers, and truth be told there more than a handful that I thought were pure rubbish. But I also learned about performers like The Shaky Hands, Tera Melos, Times New Viking, Baby Birds Don’t Drink Milk, Kevin Greenspon, The Box Elders, Weed Diamond, Professor Calculus, Little Teeth, and so many more that I still listen to today. I had my mind completely blown by High Places and Mount Eerie and Yoshitake Expe. I met Brent from Trudgers when they opened up for Dom and now we’re straight up homies.
Speaking of homies, although I never got too deep into the circle, the people who put on shows with AE are some of my favorite people from my time in college. Welcoming without being overbearing, you guys made me feel at home and let me be myself. It was probably clear from my Job For A Cowboy shirt that I wasn’t really of the ‘hipster’ scene (sorry, had to generalize you somehow) but I never felt judged or out of the circle or un-hip. I never got weird vibes from you if I decided I wanted to lose my shit during Ponytail or do a quick shimmy during Mahjongg.
I was exposed to so many new forms of art through those shows that, looking back, I feel like it was one of the primary things that helped me grow as a person during those years. Obviously, the life lessons of living with strangers for the first time, the new perspectives I gained from international friends over the years, the things I learned in the classes I am still paying for - these are crucial additions to my personality and character as well. But the expansion of my musical palette that was due in large part to my internship at KUCI and all the shows that Acrobatics Everyday put on is indispensible to me. You guys made UC Irvine feel a bit less like a cold, rigid place without a semblance of what makes me tick, without the ‘counterculture’ fashion and passion and the stupid rock n roll bullshit that makes me real. I felt at home with you guys.
After I graduated in the summer of 2010 and moved back home, it became a bit more difficult to come to shows. I guess I had taken it for granted that this amazing collective was operating within walking distance from where I was living; when I didn’t live there anymore I immediately missed it. I trekked up to Irvine a few times to catch some shows but I just couldn’t come see every obscure noise act that rolled through anymore. The final few things I went to were larger events that I don’t know how Sam threw together but were notable enough that I made a point to make it out there.
Jandek played his very first show in Southern California after a 20+ recording and touring career at the Crystal Cove Auditorium, and although I wasn’t familiar with his bizarre work beforehand I knew this was not one to be missed. Performing with another one of my childhood punk-rock heroes, Mike Watt, didn’t hurt either. That was a bizarre experience, nearly an hour and a half of uninterrupted madness, like a creeping fever nightmare made into sound. At times it was unclear if he knew how to play guitar whatsoever, like he was just making it up as he went although they did FEEL like orchestrations. It was strange; it was a cacophony that was something entirely unique, like no other performance I have ever seen. My Student Center friends were working sound and lights in the A/V booth above the auditorium an after the show they confronted me: "What the hell WAS that, man???" I didn’t really know how to answer them. Before I left to drive home I managed to get a picture with Mike Watt, a picture of Jandek smiling, and overhear somebody ruin part of the movie "The Black Swan" before I had seen it.
A few weeks later was the QnA with Andrew WK, making the last 2 real Acrobatics events I went to somewhat paralleled to the first 2: a bizarre showcase of music I have yet to wrap my head around followed by a QnA session by a well-known figure in the rock world who I was a big fan of in middle school. This event had none of the stoic, awe-inspiring self-importance of the Ian MacKaye session however; many of the questions revolved around dinosaur preferences and general party advice. He sang a song about Acrobatics Everyday with a shoe on his head and gave out prizes for random shit. It was just that kind of night.
Looking back, there are several legitimate questions that I could have asked. "How did you meet up with the drummer from Obituary?" "Is ‘Don’t Stop Living In the Red’ a celebration of debt?" …those are inquiries that might spark conversation, or at least make sense in the context of the night. But no, I went a different route.
"Do you think the Empire would have survived if R2 hadn’t stopped the trash compactor??"
Yes, I asked Andrew WK about "Star Wars" and to be completely honest I still don’t feel like I got a straight answer out of that bastard. As soon as I said it, I could hear the collective groan in the room. Nobody wanted to answer me. Is there some shit I don’t know?? All I can say is that as much as he wails on the keyboard, Andrew WK sure knows how to evade a question.
The very last time I came to Irvine for an AE event was last summer, for the second annual No Junk picnic/swap meet/acoustic show there in the park. I was actually scheduled to play an acoustic set, my first time participating in a show with y’all, so I kinda rushed my friends who came along with me. When we got to the park we realized the nature of the event and started kicking ourselved for not bringing stuff to trade. My garage is FULL of junk. Ryan bought a little drum pad from Mr. Farzin as an impulse buy like IMMEDIATELY as we got there but other than that we just looked at everybody’s goods wishing that we had barter-ables ourselves. I played a short set of end of the summer songs and handed out a bunch of CD-R demos of my then-just-starting band The Gravitys. Dash Jacket kept dropping their guitar picks; I chatted with the dude from Avi Buffalo and he gave me one of his new demos. We all had a nice little time hanging out together in the park, barbecueing and playing Frisbee and just big lok’ing in the summer sun. That’s what life is all about right there.
In the last year and a half since I’ve been to an AE event, DIY music and art had continued to play a major role in my life and I often relate new happenings to stuff that I experienced at those eye-opening college shows. As I mentioned I’ve been playing in a local band and it’s been a goal of ours since day one to play any and all locations that we get asked to play. Performing at bars or traditional venues is cool and all, but there is a whole ‘nother level of fun to playing at a pizza place or a skate park or a specialty gaming shop. These space aren’t being used to their max potential; let’s set up a show there!!
Facilitating that approach as well is a group I’ve been lucky enough to see grow into a real community this last summer, The Dial down here in Temecula/Murrieta. A welcoming, open-minded, adventurous group of people who melt the raw approach and aesthetic I’m used to from hardcore with a rounded, inclusive artistic scope that has grown more important to me as I’ve grown older myself, it’s been a blessing for the boring suburban area we live in down here just the way that Acrobatics was for the monotonous world that is UCI. I am constantly referring to you guys when making suggestions for new artists to invite, modes of operation, etc. You guys made it clear to me that doing things on the underground level and with a pretty much non-existent budget didn’t have to confine you to local punk shows exclusively; I hate to sound cheesy, but you helped me see that there really is a whole wide world of possibilities out there. It’s just a matter of reaching out.
So there it is. It’s been a year and a half since I’ve seen you all but the significance is still there with me. It’s crazy to think that its already been 5 years since that initial show; time really does fly. The loneliness and isolation and disconnect that I talked about at the beginning of this rambling ramble, I still feel that in a lot of ways. That’s just part of who I am; its’ just difficult for me to create meaningful connections in this world. But Acrobatics Everyday was something that helped me break out of my shell when I really needed that and you helped me grow. I know it’s cool to be detached and ironic or whatever these days, but I’m gonna come right out and say it: Thank you for everything. I love you guys.
Rock n roll will never die. \_/
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Playlist for March 2014
This is a list of all the albums, EPs, demos, etc that I listened to in their entirety during the month of March 2014. Afterwards are lists of the movies I watched, the live performances I saw, and my notes regarding each.
MUSIC
3/1/14
Nails - "Abandon All Life"
3/2/14
The Plurals/Black Sparrow Press - split EP
Unconditional Arms - "Kinship"
Crisis Arm - "Fetch" EP
Between The Buried And Me - "Alaska"
3/3/14
Undead Cuervo - "End of a Bully" demo
The Bastard Sons - "Bones" EP
Future Islands - "Post Office Wave Chapel" EP
Throw The Goat - "Black Mountain"
Wide Streets - "A Past Hatred Of The Future"
3/4/14
The Ugly Kids - "Kids Are Alright"/"Go Go" digital single
White Murder - S/T
Peach Kelli Pop - "Mindreader"/"Surfing Everyday" 7"
Blu & Exile - "Give Me My Flowers While I Can Still Smell Them"
3/5/14
Colta/Gypsy Mamba - "Beef'n" split EP
Alexander Spit - "Dillinger"
The Gravitys - May 2011 Demo
Seric - "Eyes Of You" EP
3/6/14
end of the summer - "Second" EP
3/7/14
Dog Days - "Via Dolorosa"
3/8/14
Akira Flip - "June"
3/10/14
Goo Goo Dolls - "A Boy Named Goo"
3/12/14
Southtowne Lanes - "Break You" EP
3/17/14
Helmet - "Betty"
3/18/14
Goo Goo Dolls - "A Boy Named Goo"
3/19/14
end of the summer - "Second" EP
end of the summer - "Three" EP
Alanis Morrissette - "Jagged Little Pill"
The Gravitys - "Bring You Down"
3/20/14
Drug Control - Rough Cuts 2014
Exile - Demo 13
Value - Demo 2012
Goo Goo Dolls - "A Boy Named Goo"
3/21/14
Strike Fast - 2012 Demo
Sleep Walk - "Dreaming of a California Sun" EP
Faith No More - "King For A Day...Fool For A Lifetime"
Geological Creep - "Disparate Forms"
3/22/14
Gorgoroth - "Pentagram"
Dead Waste - "Trog Youth" EP
Whip Hand - "Carnal Sect" EP
Culture Abuse - "The Day Dreams Of Nothing" EP
Lifelock - "Under Pressure" EP
Wax Children - "Angst"
3/23/14
Ian Anderson - "Thick As A Brick 2"
Nirvana - "Nevermind"
Business Boys Never Rest - 4-song demo CD
Blackleg - "Back On" EP
Tim Schweiger - 5-song sampler CD
Shtty Adlts - "All Of These Songs Are About Girls" EP
Sandy Cheeks - "Wet Dreams" digital single
V/A - Epitaph Records 2006 sampler CD
Ash Williams & The Horde - "AWTH"
Bad Kids - "Boys" EP
Valley Girls - "Trash River"
3/24/14
Fugazi - "Red Medicine"
The Body Rampant - "Midnight Mayfair"
Karoshi Boy - "Nothing Is" EP
Singled Out - "The Everett Crew Demo 2013"
Safe And Sound/Singled Out/Red Scare - "The New Blood" 3-way split EP
Desperate Living - "I Think I'm Losing Touch" EP
GWAR - "Hell-O"
3/25/14
Murietta - "Rooster Blue" EP
Kid Armor - Demo
EPonym - "OverAchiever 2"
Chase Moore - "Shaken Not Stirred - A Beat Tape of 007 Flips" EP
V/A - "Psst!" Filter Magazine Summer 2005 promo CD
Hemingway - "Pretend to Care"
Syzslak - "When Angels Ride Demons"
Funeral Oration - "Say No To Life"
3/26/14
Yeren -S/T EP
Tidemouth - "What I Meant To Say"
Mercy Ties - "A Dim Lit Place" 7"
Doses - "Take The High Road"
Stoic Violence - Tour Flexi
Mongoloid - 6-song demo
Sister Crayon - "Cynic"
Astronautica - S/T
Dharma - "Sea Nothing"
Fandeth - "Second Tape"
No Body - "Dark Shadow"/"Dogs Pet Me" digital single
Mynx - S/T 7"
Freak Vibe - "Presents II" EP
INVSN - S/T
3/27/14
Radio Birdman - "Zeno Beach"
DYS - "Brotherhood"
The Verve Pipe - "Villains"
Project Artichoke - "Lo-Fi Nance" EP
DK Slider - "Do Demos Have Names" demo
Ginger Alford - "Into The Void" tour tracks demo
Toby Foster - "On Moving and Standing Still"
Bomb The Music Industry! - "Get Warmer"
LoveyDove - S/T
Terminal A - "Satellite" digital single
Feral Kizzy - S/T
BLOK - "Lair of the White Worm" digital single
Jaded Juice Riders - S/T
Hello Penelope - "Winona Ryder" digital single
Jurassic Shark - "Live @ WKDU 3/4/12"
Girlpool - S/T
The Dogs - "Camping"
3/28/14
Old Man Wizard - "Unfavorable"
Crazy & The Brains - "Sexy Magazines (remix)" digital single
Bellhaunts - "Bleed Into My Mouth" EP
White Night - "In Stereo"
The Meka-Leka Hi's - S/T
Alice Cooper - "Love It To Death"
Bad Cop/Bad Cop - S/T 7"
Darsombra - "Climax Community"
3/29/14
Soto St. - "Go!"
Cochinas - "Unreleased Cochinas Tunez" EP
Social Task - "Public Reaction"
Happy In Hemet - "Fappy Hour"
Obnox - "Canabible Ohio" EP
Slow Children - "Prevalent Emotional Distress"
Tongues - "Raw Nerves" EP
Cigarette Bums - "Holy Smokes!"
Cutty Flam - "Do You Wanna?" digital single
Thee Commons - "Rock Is Dead: Long Live Paper and Scissors (Vol. 1)" EP
Los Craters - "Low Tide Lover"
Electric Children - "Fantasy Land" digital single
The Pocket Rockets - S/T EP
The Abigails - "Songs of Love and Despair"
Ghost Noise - "Teen Veins" digital single
Emmer Effer - "Live in Long Beach" EP
Damaged - "No Such Thing As Control" EP
Boogie Mamas - "Hey, Soft Top!" EP
Shirley Rolls - "Instant Gratification"
Captain Slookie & The Rogue Squadron - "Controlled Chaos"
Pizza Time - "Quiero Mas" EP
Sustains - "Unfound" EP
Sea Lions - "Winter in Space"
Souvenirs - "Sadder Days" EP
3/30/14
Faith No More - "The Real Thing"
Bouncing Souls - "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"
Aberrance - 2013 Demo
D.E.A. - Demo
Electrician - August 2013 demos
Casket - S/T EP
Death Inquisition - April 2012 demos
Xpulsion - "Hunted" EP
SW/MM/NG - "Feel Not Bad" demo
Jurassic Shark - "The Lizard Of Oz" digital single
Vehicle Restoration Systems - "Live at the Crest 8/31/13" EP
Wet Dream Asphyxiation/Aqua-Eroticism - "Hypoxia" joint album
3/31/14
Filardo - "Falling Up"
Chuuwee x Trizz - "AmeriKKa's Most Blunted"
Good Luck Bear - "The Nearest Faraway Place"
Noyes - "Unsaid" demo
Couches - "Trying to Chill" digital single
Tomber Lever - "True North" EP
Stay Cool Forever - "Don't Grow Up" digital single
I.E. - "Most Importantly"
NOTES:
- I <3 Peach Kelli Pop
- "Give Me My Flowers While I Can Still Smell Them"
- New albums from Blu & Exile, Alexander Spit, EPonym, Chase Moore, Chuuwee x Trizz are all fire
- Favorite "new finds" of the month: Peach Kelli Pop, Dog Days, Exile, Valley Girls, EPonym, Chase Moore, Hemingway, Yeren, Stoic Violence, Astronautica, INVSN, The Meka-Leka Hi's, Darsombra, Tongues, Captain Slookie & The Rogue Squadron, Sustains, Casket, Filardo, Chuuwee, Trizz, Good Luck Bear, Tomber Lever
- I listened to "Vaccination" from "Betty" like all day long on the 17th; Helmet is underrated
- There is no possible way anyone listens to my music more than I myself do it's kinda sad
- I gotta take that Goo Goo Dolls CD off my desk this shit is getting out of hand
- "Dreaming of a California Sun"/ "What I Meant To Say"
- FAITH NO MORE ; fugazi.; Funeral Oration.
- Culture Abuse kicks so much ass
- The unlisted 5th song on that Tim Schweiger CD is the best one I wish I knew its name
- Rest in peace Dave Brockie aka Oderus Urungus
- There's a band called Murietta thats not from Murrieta
- I wonder whatever happened to Syzslak I can't find like any information at all about them
- Yeren is fuckin heavy
- I'm fairly certain that the Doses, Tongues, Aberrance, and Caskets that I listened to are not the same bands who were playing at the shows I was looking up
- In case you haven't heard, the guy from Refused and T(i)NC has a new Cure-sounding band called INVSN and they kick ass
- It's kinda weird that the only Radio Birdman stuff I've ever heard is from the mid-2000s but it's good stuff. I gotta catch up.
- Those two songs that were hits for The Verve Pipe in 1996 are like their only memorable songs; it's easy to see why they so quickly vanished
- Why do so many bands have like one single song recorded and that's all that they have online? Why not just record at least a FEW songs? I don't get it.
- At first I was upset at The Dogs not being Dogs because Dogs are my boys but as it turns out The Dogs are actually pretty damn good. At least its not how it is with The Gravities. Ugh.
- White Night is just a tad too noisy for my tastes
- The strength of Alice Cooper's music is better than most people give them credit for because it was so drastically overpowered by his stage show ; Don't get me wrong tho it is fuckin cool to watch him get his head cut off and then come back to life but I feel like more people should pay more attention to the songs the band itself wrote -- they're fucking great.
- Bad Cop/Bad Cop's sound is so many miles away from what I had expected that I was a little taken aback; I expected like Nomeansno-style alterna-core for some reason; Not so much. Not bad tho. I was just way off with my expectations
- Goddamn Darsombra is DENSE ; FFO Sleep
- For anybody who's ever maybe seen Happy In Hemet (formerly Beanvian Stalks Guava) perform live but never heard them recorded, do yourself a favor and check out "Fappy Hour." I'ts really damn good.
- The cymbals on that Slow Children album are a tad too loud
- SUSTAINS
- "THE REAL THING"
LIVE PERFORMANCES:
3/8/14 - Merit/Divided Heaven/(end of the summer)/American Rifle/Joshua Bitter/Hail Adventurer @ The Dial
3/19/14 - (The Gravitys)/Southtowne Lanes/Flowers Taped To Pens/Olivias/Throne @ The Dial
3/22/14 - The Coltranes/Culture Abuse/Dead Waste/Man Bites Dog/Whip Hand @ The Dial
3/26/14 - Safe & Sound/Singled Out/Kid Armor/Higher Learning/Desperate Living @ The Dial
3/28/14 - Dharma/Conheartist/Waste Age @ The Dial
LIVE NOTES:
- That acoustic show with Merit was a really good way to start the month
- Our show on the 19th was the first time we had ever closed out a show, and especially regarding how much bigger Southtowne Lanes is than us we were nervous. Thanks to everybody who stuck around to hear our new songs though.
- Higher Learning is like the coolest goddamn band out right now
- I bought a Dharma shirt and when I put it on the image is all off-center like they messed up the screenprinting...why do touring bands just love giving me shirts with messed up designs that I don't realize until I've got back to my house and they're long gone...There seems to be a sinister pattern going on here.
MOVIES
3/1/14 - "Hall Pass"
3/29/14 - "Sorry" skate video ; "Suffer The Joy" skate video
3/30/14 - "The Grand Budapest Hotel"
MOVIE NOTES
- "Suffer The Joy" has a really badass soundtrack
- I identified with what I believe the purpose of "The Grand Budapest Hotel" very much, if I interpreted things correctly.
ZINES
"Concrete Discipline" Issue #1
Rest in peace Sam Asheton, Dave Brockie, and Ultimate Warrior. Thank you for all the inspiration. For real.
MUSIC
3/1/14
Nails - "Abandon All Life"
3/2/14
The Plurals/Black Sparrow Press - split EP
Unconditional Arms - "Kinship"
Crisis Arm - "Fetch" EP
Between The Buried And Me - "Alaska"
3/3/14
Undead Cuervo - "End of a Bully" demo
The Bastard Sons - "Bones" EP
Future Islands - "Post Office Wave Chapel" EP
Throw The Goat - "Black Mountain"
Wide Streets - "A Past Hatred Of The Future"
3/4/14
The Ugly Kids - "Kids Are Alright"/"Go Go" digital single
White Murder - S/T
Peach Kelli Pop - "Mindreader"/"Surfing Everyday" 7"
Blu & Exile - "Give Me My Flowers While I Can Still Smell Them"
3/5/14
Colta/Gypsy Mamba - "Beef'n" split EP
Alexander Spit - "Dillinger"
The Gravitys - May 2011 Demo
Seric - "Eyes Of You" EP
3/6/14
end of the summer - "Second" EP
3/7/14
Dog Days - "Via Dolorosa"
3/8/14
Akira Flip - "June"
3/10/14
Goo Goo Dolls - "A Boy Named Goo"
3/12/14
Southtowne Lanes - "Break You" EP
3/17/14
Helmet - "Betty"
3/18/14
Goo Goo Dolls - "A Boy Named Goo"
3/19/14
end of the summer - "Second" EP
end of the summer - "Three" EP
Alanis Morrissette - "Jagged Little Pill"
The Gravitys - "Bring You Down"
3/20/14
Drug Control - Rough Cuts 2014
Exile - Demo 13
Value - Demo 2012
Goo Goo Dolls - "A Boy Named Goo"
3/21/14
Strike Fast - 2012 Demo
Sleep Walk - "Dreaming of a California Sun" EP
Faith No More - "King For A Day...Fool For A Lifetime"
Geological Creep - "Disparate Forms"
3/22/14
Gorgoroth - "Pentagram"
Dead Waste - "Trog Youth" EP
Whip Hand - "Carnal Sect" EP
Culture Abuse - "The Day Dreams Of Nothing" EP
Lifelock - "Under Pressure" EP
Wax Children - "Angst"
3/23/14
Ian Anderson - "Thick As A Brick 2"
Nirvana - "Nevermind"
Business Boys Never Rest - 4-song demo CD
Blackleg - "Back On" EP
Tim Schweiger - 5-song sampler CD
Shtty Adlts - "All Of These Songs Are About Girls" EP
Sandy Cheeks - "Wet Dreams" digital single
V/A - Epitaph Records 2006 sampler CD
Ash Williams & The Horde - "AWTH"
Bad Kids - "Boys" EP
Valley Girls - "Trash River"
3/24/14
Fugazi - "Red Medicine"
The Body Rampant - "Midnight Mayfair"
Karoshi Boy - "Nothing Is" EP
Singled Out - "The Everett Crew Demo 2013"
Safe And Sound/Singled Out/Red Scare - "The New Blood" 3-way split EP
Desperate Living - "I Think I'm Losing Touch" EP
GWAR - "Hell-O"
3/25/14
Murietta - "Rooster Blue" EP
Kid Armor - Demo
EPonym - "OverAchiever 2"
Chase Moore - "Shaken Not Stirred - A Beat Tape of 007 Flips" EP
V/A - "Psst!" Filter Magazine Summer 2005 promo CD
Hemingway - "Pretend to Care"
Syzslak - "When Angels Ride Demons"
Funeral Oration - "Say No To Life"
3/26/14
Yeren -S/T EP
Tidemouth - "What I Meant To Say"
Mercy Ties - "A Dim Lit Place" 7"
Doses - "Take The High Road"
Stoic Violence - Tour Flexi
Mongoloid - 6-song demo
Sister Crayon - "Cynic"
Astronautica - S/T
Dharma - "Sea Nothing"
Fandeth - "Second Tape"
No Body - "Dark Shadow"/"Dogs Pet Me" digital single
Mynx - S/T 7"
Freak Vibe - "Presents II" EP
INVSN - S/T
3/27/14
Radio Birdman - "Zeno Beach"
DYS - "Brotherhood"
The Verve Pipe - "Villains"
Project Artichoke - "Lo-Fi Nance" EP
DK Slider - "Do Demos Have Names" demo
Ginger Alford - "Into The Void" tour tracks demo
Toby Foster - "On Moving and Standing Still"
Bomb The Music Industry! - "Get Warmer"
LoveyDove - S/T
Terminal A - "Satellite" digital single
Feral Kizzy - S/T
BLOK - "Lair of the White Worm" digital single
Jaded Juice Riders - S/T
Hello Penelope - "Winona Ryder" digital single
Jurassic Shark - "Live @ WKDU 3/4/12"
Girlpool - S/T
The Dogs - "Camping"
3/28/14
Old Man Wizard - "Unfavorable"
Crazy & The Brains - "Sexy Magazines (remix)" digital single
Bellhaunts - "Bleed Into My Mouth" EP
White Night - "In Stereo"
The Meka-Leka Hi's - S/T
Alice Cooper - "Love It To Death"
Bad Cop/Bad Cop - S/T 7"
Darsombra - "Climax Community"
3/29/14
Soto St. - "Go!"
Cochinas - "Unreleased Cochinas Tunez" EP
Social Task - "Public Reaction"
Happy In Hemet - "Fappy Hour"
Obnox - "Canabible Ohio" EP
Slow Children - "Prevalent Emotional Distress"
Tongues - "Raw Nerves" EP
Cigarette Bums - "Holy Smokes!"
Cutty Flam - "Do You Wanna?" digital single
Thee Commons - "Rock Is Dead: Long Live Paper and Scissors (Vol. 1)" EP
Los Craters - "Low Tide Lover"
Electric Children - "Fantasy Land" digital single
The Pocket Rockets - S/T EP
The Abigails - "Songs of Love and Despair"
Ghost Noise - "Teen Veins" digital single
Emmer Effer - "Live in Long Beach" EP
Damaged - "No Such Thing As Control" EP
Boogie Mamas - "Hey, Soft Top!" EP
Shirley Rolls - "Instant Gratification"
Captain Slookie & The Rogue Squadron - "Controlled Chaos"
Pizza Time - "Quiero Mas" EP
Sustains - "Unfound" EP
Sea Lions - "Winter in Space"
Souvenirs - "Sadder Days" EP
3/30/14
Faith No More - "The Real Thing"
Bouncing Souls - "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"
Aberrance - 2013 Demo
D.E.A. - Demo
Electrician - August 2013 demos
Casket - S/T EP
Death Inquisition - April 2012 demos
Xpulsion - "Hunted" EP
SW/MM/NG - "Feel Not Bad" demo
Jurassic Shark - "The Lizard Of Oz" digital single
Vehicle Restoration Systems - "Live at the Crest 8/31/13" EP
Wet Dream Asphyxiation/Aqua-Eroticism - "Hypoxia" joint album
3/31/14
Filardo - "Falling Up"
Chuuwee x Trizz - "AmeriKKa's Most Blunted"
Good Luck Bear - "The Nearest Faraway Place"
Noyes - "Unsaid" demo
Couches - "Trying to Chill" digital single
Tomber Lever - "True North" EP
Stay Cool Forever - "Don't Grow Up" digital single
I.E. - "Most Importantly"
NOTES:
- I <3 Peach Kelli Pop
- "Give Me My Flowers While I Can Still Smell Them"
- New albums from Blu & Exile, Alexander Spit, EPonym, Chase Moore, Chuuwee x Trizz are all fire
- Favorite "new finds" of the month: Peach Kelli Pop, Dog Days, Exile, Valley Girls, EPonym, Chase Moore, Hemingway, Yeren, Stoic Violence, Astronautica, INVSN, The Meka-Leka Hi's, Darsombra, Tongues, Captain Slookie & The Rogue Squadron, Sustains, Casket, Filardo, Chuuwee, Trizz, Good Luck Bear, Tomber Lever
- I listened to "Vaccination" from "Betty" like all day long on the 17th; Helmet is underrated
- There is no possible way anyone listens to my music more than I myself do it's kinda sad
- I gotta take that Goo Goo Dolls CD off my desk this shit is getting out of hand
- "Dreaming of a California Sun"/ "What I Meant To Say"
- FAITH NO MORE ; fugazi.; Funeral Oration.
- Culture Abuse kicks so much ass
- The unlisted 5th song on that Tim Schweiger CD is the best one I wish I knew its name
- Rest in peace Dave Brockie aka Oderus Urungus
- There's a band called Murietta thats not from Murrieta
- I wonder whatever happened to Syzslak I can't find like any information at all about them
- Yeren is fuckin heavy
- I'm fairly certain that the Doses, Tongues, Aberrance, and Caskets that I listened to are not the same bands who were playing at the shows I was looking up
- In case you haven't heard, the guy from Refused and T(i)NC has a new Cure-sounding band called INVSN and they kick ass
- It's kinda weird that the only Radio Birdman stuff I've ever heard is from the mid-2000s but it's good stuff. I gotta catch up.
- Those two songs that were hits for The Verve Pipe in 1996 are like their only memorable songs; it's easy to see why they so quickly vanished
- Why do so many bands have like one single song recorded and that's all that they have online? Why not just record at least a FEW songs? I don't get it.
- At first I was upset at The Dogs not being Dogs because Dogs are my boys but as it turns out The Dogs are actually pretty damn good. At least its not how it is with The Gravities. Ugh.
- White Night is just a tad too noisy for my tastes
- The strength of Alice Cooper's music is better than most people give them credit for because it was so drastically overpowered by his stage show ; Don't get me wrong tho it is fuckin cool to watch him get his head cut off and then come back to life but I feel like more people should pay more attention to the songs the band itself wrote -- they're fucking great.
- Bad Cop/Bad Cop's sound is so many miles away from what I had expected that I was a little taken aback; I expected like Nomeansno-style alterna-core for some reason; Not so much. Not bad tho. I was just way off with my expectations
- Goddamn Darsombra is DENSE ; FFO Sleep
- For anybody who's ever maybe seen Happy In Hemet (formerly Beanvian Stalks Guava) perform live but never heard them recorded, do yourself a favor and check out "Fappy Hour." I'ts really damn good.
- The cymbals on that Slow Children album are a tad too loud
- SUSTAINS
- "THE REAL THING"
LIVE PERFORMANCES:
3/8/14 - Merit/Divided Heaven/(end of the summer)/American Rifle/Joshua Bitter/Hail Adventurer @ The Dial
3/19/14 - (The Gravitys)/Southtowne Lanes/Flowers Taped To Pens/Olivias/Throne @ The Dial
3/22/14 - The Coltranes/Culture Abuse/Dead Waste/Man Bites Dog/Whip Hand @ The Dial
3/26/14 - Safe & Sound/Singled Out/Kid Armor/Higher Learning/Desperate Living @ The Dial
3/28/14 - Dharma/Conheartist/Waste Age @ The Dial
LIVE NOTES:
- That acoustic show with Merit was a really good way to start the month
- Our show on the 19th was the first time we had ever closed out a show, and especially regarding how much bigger Southtowne Lanes is than us we were nervous. Thanks to everybody who stuck around to hear our new songs though.
- Higher Learning is like the coolest goddamn band out right now
- I bought a Dharma shirt and when I put it on the image is all off-center like they messed up the screenprinting...why do touring bands just love giving me shirts with messed up designs that I don't realize until I've got back to my house and they're long gone...There seems to be a sinister pattern going on here.
MOVIES
3/1/14 - "Hall Pass"
3/29/14 - "Sorry" skate video ; "Suffer The Joy" skate video
3/30/14 - "The Grand Budapest Hotel"
MOVIE NOTES
- "Suffer The Joy" has a really badass soundtrack
- I identified with what I believe the purpose of "The Grand Budapest Hotel" very much, if I interpreted things correctly.
ZINES
"Concrete Discipline" Issue #1
Rest in peace Sam Asheton, Dave Brockie, and Ultimate Warrior. Thank you for all the inspiration. For real.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
EVENING REVIEW: July 18, 2013 (Idle; Wild)
This review is the expansion of some notes I jotted down about my evening on July 18th, 2013. The page was torn out of its original notebook and has been floating around my papers for the last 9 months. It's all torn and crumpled now, oil-stained from sitting amongst chip and pretzels on my desk, and I decided to finally lay it to rest by reviewing its contents.
I started writing this in mid-January but it was never much of a priority so I just lazily made sentences in between calls at work. I finally got around to finishing it one day when the Internet was down for the whole office so we had to wait around for a very long time for the problem to be fixed. As it turned out, the problem could not be fixed so we all had to go home early.
I watched the news and ate dinner alone in my room. My plans had been to meet up with KP, who at the time had only just recently gotten back in town from recording school in AZ, but he cancelled because he was still getting all his shit situated from the move.
Outside, the sky was red and purple and beautiful; a fire had been going on in Idyllwild for a few days and the early dusk reflected its burn. Looking through my blinds at the world, I decided to go outside and go on a walk before the sun went away and the day was done.
I never do anything anymore.
As I put my hands in my sweatshirt pockets and looked towards the trail ahead I was struck by a subtle yet painful feeling of loneliness. It didn't used to be like this, I didn't used to be the only person in my world. There were always people out and about, there was always life teeming in the neighborhood and now there's an odd silence everywhere. No one even walks their dogs anymore.
I walked past the street that connects my neighborhood to the elderly community and a memory from a decade prior came to mind, sitting on the curb in front of the frame of a house underneath a then-new streetlight by myself, waiting for something to happen. It seemed like these houses would never be finished, the construction stage of things would be never-ending. But I was wrong; everything is solid and done and lived in, and I am still just waiting for something to happen.
I have been here for too long.
I passed the remove-able posts that that keep trucks from trampling the trail (again, a phenomenon that used to be far more prevalent; people don't even try anymore) and began looking through the contacts in my phone. All the characters in my recent life listed at once, a scroll of increasing futility. Some of them are too far away geographically, some of them are too far away chronologically, and in both cases there is just nothing to really say. Our Internet personalities have unfortunately filled the role of keeping us rudimentally informed of each other's happenings; conversations that used to occur every now and again, just to say hi or mildly catch up, have grown (even more) superfluous and awkward. We already know how the other is doing.
In many cases it's been too long to meaningfully 'catch up' with these people over the phone, or to have reason to randomly meet up when we're in such different places now. Some of these names, the ones from college especially, I would suspect don't even have my number saved anymore so even if I were to contact them I'd have to explain who I was, our past friendship, that terribly depressing rigamarole of introducing yourself anew to someone who used to know you. No fun for anyone.
Of the few people who have remained fulltime friends, I already knew that the majority were currently at work. I tried calling David and Eric but neither of them picked up so I just put my phone back in my pocket and kept walking in silence.
After crossing Townview and going up the hill you can see the cul-de-sacs in their entirety - all the blue rectangle windows - a softly sad thought that's been following me around for some time now struck with full force: As much as I miss all the things that I used to do, I miss the things that I missed out on while doing whatever it was I had been doing even more. So many potential connections, avenues left unexplored and/or abandoned too early, all the missed opportunities. The phrase "I Don't Know What I Want" came to dominate my psyche, an overriding, bleak confusion regarding Purpose, Drive; The Future. It's a gut-turning feeling, one that wakes me up at night and silences my passion and confidence. It's all I can think about sometimes.
I reached the top of the stride where the trail ends and turns back into a chaparral hillside, and I looked over the sunset scene. The beautiful fire-sky had framed everything in its red hush, like a piercing noise that deafens everything into some broken-nose focus. With the shopping center below me, all I felt was that I wanted to leave.
The only thing I want is to get out of this place I am in.
On the street in between the supermarket and the smoke shop, a small modern car scooted towards the traffic light and somehow it transported me back a few years, driving around with Eric and Tayler when drinking was still fun. When vodka was only just beginning its tyranny. What happened?
"It was not that long ago, though it seems so now."
After standing by the milemarkers for too long, thinking about nothing, I recalled a time a few summers back when I came to this same spot with those two and we purveyed the same scene together. As we walked back to my house we basked in our own and each other's glory, talking about how great our individual circumstances were at that particular moment.We were all starting new fulltime jobs, our personal lives were all fairly steady, I was all stoked on my band's cassette coming out and what may lay ahead in that path. As friends we all still hung out regularly and everything appeared to be on a generally positive trajectory.
Walking home this evening was nothing like that. My life has all but completely disintegrated since then. All the comfort and satisfaction I had felt then is like a curse now, a painful memory of happiness that makes my current despair all the more acute.
"I'm trying to forget my favorite times."
I got a call from my old friend Ryan, who was living in the apartments next to my neighborhood at the time with a guy named Mike who I don't really get along with. He said that they were barbecuing some meat but that he was gonna go to bed after he ate and just wanted to see if I could spare a little 10sack. I told him I didn't have any weed on me but I would call him when I got back to my house , knowing fully well that I wouldn't call him when I got back to my house. I don't sell weed.
As I crossed the street back to the hill next to my house I glanced at the sign saying that the trail is "closed for repairs." I scoffed a silent scoff and kept walking. My cat Mikey was lingering next to the wall where the bushes are and he hastened away when I passed by until he realized it was me, at which point he casually sauntered behind me until I let him into the house. Once inside he ran to the garage door so he could get to his dry food and then run back outside, part of the constant in-and-out cycle that Mikey lives in.
When I got up to my room Alex finally returned my call but he was in the middle of a movie and I wanted to eat so we said that maybe we'll meet up in a bit. It was already 8:30 at that point, however, and I knew we wouldn't meet up. I should have known I wouldn't actually hang out with anyone before I even made my calls. I guess I just wanted to make the gesture so I could say - to myself - that I had put out some kind of effort. I think Alex was just doing the same thing.
I went onto Facebook and multiple people were posting things like "o my god look at the sky!"; "the sky looks so cool right now"; etc. so I went outside to see. Sure enough, the Idyllwild fire had turned the entire evening sky into a pulsing magenta caught in mid-swirl and radiating night heat onto the ground. I looked up for a little while and then went inside to sit in my room by myself.
I started writing this in mid-January but it was never much of a priority so I just lazily made sentences in between calls at work. I finally got around to finishing it one day when the Internet was down for the whole office so we had to wait around for a very long time for the problem to be fixed. As it turned out, the problem could not be fixed so we all had to go home early.
I watched the news and ate dinner alone in my room. My plans had been to meet up with KP, who at the time had only just recently gotten back in town from recording school in AZ, but he cancelled because he was still getting all his shit situated from the move.
Outside, the sky was red and purple and beautiful; a fire had been going on in Idyllwild for a few days and the early dusk reflected its burn. Looking through my blinds at the world, I decided to go outside and go on a walk before the sun went away and the day was done.
I never do anything anymore.
As I put my hands in my sweatshirt pockets and looked towards the trail ahead I was struck by a subtle yet painful feeling of loneliness. It didn't used to be like this, I didn't used to be the only person in my world. There were always people out and about, there was always life teeming in the neighborhood and now there's an odd silence everywhere. No one even walks their dogs anymore.
I walked past the street that connects my neighborhood to the elderly community and a memory from a decade prior came to mind, sitting on the curb in front of the frame of a house underneath a then-new streetlight by myself, waiting for something to happen. It seemed like these houses would never be finished, the construction stage of things would be never-ending. But I was wrong; everything is solid and done and lived in, and I am still just waiting for something to happen.
I have been here for too long.
I passed the remove-able posts that that keep trucks from trampling the trail (again, a phenomenon that used to be far more prevalent; people don't even try anymore) and began looking through the contacts in my phone. All the characters in my recent life listed at once, a scroll of increasing futility. Some of them are too far away geographically, some of them are too far away chronologically, and in both cases there is just nothing to really say. Our Internet personalities have unfortunately filled the role of keeping us rudimentally informed of each other's happenings; conversations that used to occur every now and again, just to say hi or mildly catch up, have grown (even more) superfluous and awkward. We already know how the other is doing.
In many cases it's been too long to meaningfully 'catch up' with these people over the phone, or to have reason to randomly meet up when we're in such different places now. Some of these names, the ones from college especially, I would suspect don't even have my number saved anymore so even if I were to contact them I'd have to explain who I was, our past friendship, that terribly depressing rigamarole of introducing yourself anew to someone who used to know you. No fun for anyone.
Of the few people who have remained fulltime friends, I already knew that the majority were currently at work. I tried calling David and Eric but neither of them picked up so I just put my phone back in my pocket and kept walking in silence.
After crossing Townview and going up the hill you can see the cul-de-sacs in their entirety - all the blue rectangle windows - a softly sad thought that's been following me around for some time now struck with full force: As much as I miss all the things that I used to do, I miss the things that I missed out on while doing whatever it was I had been doing even more. So many potential connections, avenues left unexplored and/or abandoned too early, all the missed opportunities. The phrase "I Don't Know What I Want" came to dominate my psyche, an overriding, bleak confusion regarding Purpose, Drive; The Future. It's a gut-turning feeling, one that wakes me up at night and silences my passion and confidence. It's all I can think about sometimes.
I reached the top of the stride where the trail ends and turns back into a chaparral hillside, and I looked over the sunset scene. The beautiful fire-sky had framed everything in its red hush, like a piercing noise that deafens everything into some broken-nose focus. With the shopping center below me, all I felt was that I wanted to leave.
The only thing I want is to get out of this place I am in.
On the street in between the supermarket and the smoke shop, a small modern car scooted towards the traffic light and somehow it transported me back a few years, driving around with Eric and Tayler when drinking was still fun. When vodka was only just beginning its tyranny. What happened?
"It was not that long ago, though it seems so now."
After standing by the milemarkers for too long, thinking about nothing, I recalled a time a few summers back when I came to this same spot with those two and we purveyed the same scene together. As we walked back to my house we basked in our own and each other's glory, talking about how great our individual circumstances were at that particular moment.We were all starting new fulltime jobs, our personal lives were all fairly steady, I was all stoked on my band's cassette coming out and what may lay ahead in that path. As friends we all still hung out regularly and everything appeared to be on a generally positive trajectory.
Walking home this evening was nothing like that. My life has all but completely disintegrated since then. All the comfort and satisfaction I had felt then is like a curse now, a painful memory of happiness that makes my current despair all the more acute.
"I'm trying to forget my favorite times."
I got a call from my old friend Ryan, who was living in the apartments next to my neighborhood at the time with a guy named Mike who I don't really get along with. He said that they were barbecuing some meat but that he was gonna go to bed after he ate and just wanted to see if I could spare a little 10sack. I told him I didn't have any weed on me but I would call him when I got back to my house , knowing fully well that I wouldn't call him when I got back to my house. I don't sell weed.
As I crossed the street back to the hill next to my house I glanced at the sign saying that the trail is "closed for repairs." I scoffed a silent scoff and kept walking. My cat Mikey was lingering next to the wall where the bushes are and he hastened away when I passed by until he realized it was me, at which point he casually sauntered behind me until I let him into the house. Once inside he ran to the garage door so he could get to his dry food and then run back outside, part of the constant in-and-out cycle that Mikey lives in.
When I got up to my room Alex finally returned my call but he was in the middle of a movie and I wanted to eat so we said that maybe we'll meet up in a bit. It was already 8:30 at that point, however, and I knew we wouldn't meet up. I should have known I wouldn't actually hang out with anyone before I even made my calls. I guess I just wanted to make the gesture so I could say - to myself - that I had put out some kind of effort. I think Alex was just doing the same thing.
I went onto Facebook and multiple people were posting things like "o my god look at the sky!"; "the sky looks so cool right now"; etc. so I went outside to see. Sure enough, the Idyllwild fire had turned the entire evening sky into a pulsing magenta caught in mid-swirl and radiating night heat onto the ground. I looked up for a little while and then went inside to sit in my room by myself.
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